Afternoon Crumbs

PROGRAMMING NOTE: I’m coughing up (I won’t tell you from where, don’t worry) pieces of Sourdough Jack and animal-style fries, which means I’ve probably had too much California. For the rest of the day, I’ll be safe and secure in my porn-watching knit tunnel while going back to New York. My ass will be back tomorrow and now on to the crumbs:

Tyra Sanchez’s RiRi’s jank lace lashes get an F-, but her eyebrow situation gets a solid B – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

What happens when Annie Hall takes styling tips from Beetlejuice – Lainey Gossip

A Kiss Begins With Krap: Miley Cyrus Tweets a picture of what some think is her totally fake engagement ring – The Superficial

I don’t know who this Daniel Garofali dude is, but I’ll gladly skip down his cobblestone happy trail – Towleroad

Every picture from the Spring Breakers set looks straight out of TruTV’s Party Heat – Hollywood Tuna

AnnaSophia Robb in the role Trace Cyrus was born in a barn to play! – Just Jared

A who’s who of Valtrex’s most wanted list – The Berry

Cate Blanchett brings Mimi’s recurring nightmare to life by going Photoshop-free on the cover of a magazine – Celebitchy

I hate myself down to a real level for thinking this was the Empress of Lucite – ICYDK

JLove knows how to sell a basic cable TV show that looks like shit – Popoholic

Dude in the back can’t look at Beyonce’s flower barf pants either – Popsugar

Move over puppy Beyonce, here comes Sugar – The Daily What

For those of you who have a serious frat boys in pumps fetish – OMG Blog

FYI: Elmo’s a bottom – Videogum

Just like every damn sad bitch, Peter Felchinelli is letting Adele voice his raw emotions – I’m Not Obsessed

Kenny G’s almost-ex-wife sounds like my kind of crazy ass bitch – Hollywood Rag

This list is incomplete without an unPhotoshopped Khloe Kardashian – Cityrag