The Time LiLo Got It On With A Porn Star While Her Dad Slept Upstairs
If you put on Hazmat-made goggles and dove into my browser history, you'd find a gutter full of foolery including searches for She-Ra helicopter dildos, a few hits to GOOP (know your enemies) and at least ten millions hits to the porn site Reality Kings. Fuck star Voodoo (born name: Alex Torres), who once got in trouble for skydive fucking, is all over that site, so let's just say that if you lined up a dozen baseball bats, I could tell you which one is his dick. Seriously, you could hit a baseball with it and then use it as a pole vault to launch yourself to second base.
Because Voodoo is a porn star with a peen so large that it can tickle your tonsils and prostate at the same time, it's not surprising that hos will pay top dollar to take a ride on his King Kong thumb dick. But Voodoo entered BITCH, PLEASE territory the other day when he called into The Jim Richards Show on Toronto's Newstalk 1010 (via Radar) and insinuated that Lindsay Lohan paid for his services:
JR: Michael Lohan's coming on the show. What should I ask him?Voodoo: Um.. Ask him if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs.
JR: Are you joking?
Voodoo: I'm not joking.
JR: You have had relations with Lindsay Lohan?
Voodoo: Um...many of these Hollywood celebrities pay me a high price dollar to come satisfy them.
JR: Are you joking?!
Voodoo: I'm not joking!
JR: So you've been with Lindsay Lohan?
Voodoo: I'm saying that.
First of all, Michael Lohan wasn't sleeping. Somebody needed to operate the zoom lens on the camera poking out of a hole in the ceiling. Second of all, Voodoo owes White Oprah a new bottle of Grey Goose, because she just spit up the one she had for breakfast from laughing so hard at this shit. Lindsay Lohan doesn't pay for crap, especially dick! The words "Lindsay Lohan" and "paid" go together like the words "Voodoo's dick" and "Situation-sized condom" do. Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore. LiLo doesn't open up her fiery crotchcano unless you fill your hand with a dime bag, a stack of ones, tickets to a fashion show, a spread in Playboy, a cigarette butt, a half empty can of Red Bull, a 10% off coupon for sea jasper, a tube of generic Juvederm or whatever's in the change slot of a pay phone. LiLo might be a cheap whore, but she still gets paid!
Voodoo needs to bite his tongue and if he's unable to do that, his snake monster dick can do it for him, because it can reach.
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ugh. i don't think i believe it...but with the blohans, who knows? anything is possible.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
I imagine after both the whores got paid, they broke even. Non story.
Both are disgusting. Skanky looking. Like a rental car seat that dozens of beasts farted all over.
Ugh! This dude looks like a total DOUCHE NOZZLE! I dont care how big his dick is, just NO!
Never mind, I'm going to go with the theory that Lilo paid for this shit cause her ass was feeling kinky and that's exactly where she wanted it...
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:43pm.
That guy looks like jack.
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I thought so too. Now we know what he does when he disappears for a day or two ...
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
porn star men are such a turn off except for the Hedgehog or Warthog or whatever his name is, the tiny one with the big nose and moustache...damn, oh I remember Ron Jeremy, I like him cause he doesn't think he is the shit, like all these other arrogant fucks do. I like that..this one, yuck but i believe him cause Hohan has not gone on Twatter to defend herself against all these "ghastly allegations, and blah, blah, blah"....she did hit it and more than once with her perv Daddy with a cup to the bedroom wall while jacking off...all Hohan style baby, pure Hohan style. This family gives white trash a bad name
@ Chris Knight ... I too saw George Michael at first which made no sense as he is reputedly tiny and therefore unlikely porn material (no matter how many times he's been arrested for indecent exposure).
That shot must have been a while back...shes too mushy now.
I'm with Datura!
Porn style sex really is never satisfying..too fast too furious..and I don't feel half of what I need to for it to 'work'..I can moan like a wildabeast too..whatever gets ya off. That guy is gross.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
All this sex talk, especially ba-buttons story about the circle of fellatio; made me think of Spring Break. I was set to slut it up in ABQ, NM. Then my friends roommate said he had/has Gonorrhea and was on meds for it. It totally skeeved me out and I ended up not wanting to slut it up.
*sigh*
In my 20's I didn't care. Luckily I didn't catch anything back then.
Did anyone post a link? I need to see just how big this guy's schlong is or it doesn't count.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
LL: "Is it in yet? Oh, it is? Hold on, I'm getting texted."
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Not likely. Maybe he mistook Hohan's Firecrotch for Carrot Top's dick bush? Now, that I would believe.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Voodoo and Evan Stone are the two most ego-maniacal guys in porn.
As for sex between him and the freckled ho, who cares? Don't know why anyone is interested in her any longer. She bores me.
Is anyone surprised? For those doubting she would pay for sex: "Cocaine is a helluva drug!" - Rick James
When I saw this dude, I thought its GEORGE MICHAEL.
Well, they're both adults. Who cares?
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
I noticed he said "Hollywood celebrities" paid him, not actresses, so I'm guessing he may have rented himself out to a few famous men.... Wonder who they could be? Seems like a male "clientele" would be far more likely to indulge in the rent a porn star for the night fantasy/delusion than a female one. Makes it slightly more believable.
I can't imagine a story like this being good for lindsay's career/business, though.
Both these hookers are not stupid enough to sex each other without getting paid.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Who would admit to screwing either? This guy has probably had every STD known to mankind. Lindsay too.
Momus ♥
Submitted by Stan Derp on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 1:02pm.
This could be possible. When Blohan had one her many accidents, the car she was driving supposedly belonged to a porn producer. Maybe donkey dick up there was owed a favor or something by the producer.
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I agree that this is how it could have happened. Like a perverse regift.
Oh, and some of you are WAY too well-informed about porn stars.
Why would a woman hire a porn star to satisfy her? The women in porn never look especially satisfied, ridiculous moaning aside.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
@texndoc
I've seen those videos on porn sites but that's like a bachelorette party, a super slutty one but still.
If I just happened to fuck a guy who gave me the greatest sex ever, multiple orgasms and all that, then he refused to sleep with me again unless I paid, I still wouldn't pay. I'd offer him coupons or something but not money, it just ain't right.
Possible Lindsay Lohan porn movie titles:
"Morgue Love: More Hard"
"Fire in the Hole"
"Stolen Jewels: Lindsay Caught stealing more than just a ring!"
"Marilyn Monroe Wigs go Flying"
"Cigars and Cigarettes"
"The Bare Necessities"
LOL. I dunno.
Submitted by Wood Dragon on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:58pm.
I totally agree. Lindsay's whole life is basically porn anymore. I don't think anyone would be surprised at all to learn she went into the industry. I don't see why not. She acts like she really wants to, but pretends she still has an image to protect.
Manuel Ferrera is hot and he's so passionate with the ladies! I just found out about some hot piece named Kevin Faulk who goes both ways. Hot indeed!
I don't believe him.
Where did he say that she paid him money to sleep with her? The way I read it is that some people pay him for sex AND that he had sex with Lindsay.
He better watch his step. WO will have him in court for defamation if he's not careful. And this time I wouldn't blame her.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:43pm.
That guy looks like jack
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HA! OMG! *side eyes Jack*
I would not admit to fucking Lindsay. Not even in my trashiest slutty soul would I really think it would even be worth driving to her apartment. She's not even remotely interesting.
Paying for a dirty dick? Now THAT'S pathetic.
Submitted by Devil Kitten on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:27pm.
LOLLLL that is a hilarious line
This could be possible. When Blohan had one her many accidents, the car she was driving supposedly belonged to a porn producer. Maybe donkey dick up there was owed a favor or something by the producer. I doubt it but it is Hohan we're talking about.
http://www.examiner.com/pop-culture-in-national/lindsay-lohan-s-crashed-...
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
Meh...I've had bigger....
She should just do porn. She'd get paid, and all the assholes things she does nobody would care about anymore. It's a perfect fit for her life now.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:19pm.
The goodlooking straight male porn stars are Hungarian. (Andrew Youngman *drool*). You can count the goodlooking US straight male pornstars on one hand IMHO. Johnny Castle, Rocco Reed, and Erik Everhard I can see being bought and paid for. I've seen EE say in interviews he's been ordered by someone in Europe royalty on-demand as it were. Oh Camilla!
OMG, OMG, OMG, I love Erik Everhard. Julian is alright, but he seems like one of those guys who thinks because he has a big dick, he doesn't have to do much with it. Jill Kelly used to do all the work. Add Mick Blue to that list, TexnDoc, but I know he's from somewhere in Europe. And Manuel Ferrera, too.
King. Kong. Thumb.
Priceless.
THUMBS UP, I SAY.
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
Submitted by Sluttsville on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:43pm.
That guy looks like jack.
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Hi, Sluttsville. Long time no see.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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eeeewwwwwwww.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:37pm.
Blohan doesn't pay for sex, she gets paid FOR sex.
This is stupid.
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I doubt that any sane person would want to be with her without some sort of compensation. Medical bills and prescriptions (especially Valtrex) can be quite expensive.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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<"Submitted by jackie on Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:37pm.
No females pay for sex except old rich hags.">
Bullshit. Google those British women "hen parties" or CFNM parties again from Britain where they hire strippers and have video of the guy basically passing his schlong from mouth to mouth. And these are bachelorette parties.
That guy looks like jack.
Surely some man would hit the freckles for free?!
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"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore."
and now i have a signature! thanks, MK!
Michael K - you're slipping....what no pics of Voodoo?!?
And maybe morbidly obese bitches.
Blohan doesn't pay for sex, she gets paid FOR sex.
This is stupid.
No females pay for sex except old rich hags.
does anyone think she looks hot in the picture pulling down her panties?