The Situation Is Playing The “Exhaustion” Card

The word “exhaustion” is now in rehab for exhaustion, because it’s truly tired of dumb ass lying bitches using it as an excuse for why they’re drying out. TMZ reported earlier that The Situation has checked into rehab for “substance abuse” (see: anally-taken coke, Internet-bought roids, toxic jacuzzi water, Snooki’s wookie cooze, etc…) issues, but his spokeswhore tells E! News that he’s not addicted to the bad shit, he’s just tired.

“He has spent the past several weeks at an undisclosed location for much needed rest and recuperation after his extensive production and appearance schedule.”

Where I come from, that’s called a vacation from a vacation.

You hos out there who got up at 5 this morning, walked the dog, woke your brats up, poured them cereal, made their lunches, washed your pits in the sink while dressing the young one, drove them to school, drove to work, worked for 5 hours, did your taxes during lunch, worked another 4 hours, drove home, made Hamburger Helper for dinner (I know how gourmet you are), did a load of laundry, spiked your kids’ chocolate milk with Lunesta to get them to bed and drank half a bottle of wine by yourself in the garage before falling into a coma while taking a shit on the toilet MUST be superhuman. Seriously, check your back for circuit breakers, because you’re definitely a robot.

I mean, The Situation is exhausted from doing absolutely nothing! Either The Situation is as delicate as a dew drop on a daisy petal or dude is lying about his addiction to fucking his nostrils with coke lines. Exhaustion? I CAN’T and I’m too tired to CAN. I should go to sleepy time rehab for that.