Richard Gere Hates Pretty Woman

March 20, 2012 / Posted by:

Richard Gere, star of culturally important films like Shall We Dance, Nights in Rodanthe, Runaway Bride, Dr. T & the Women, Intersection and Autumn in New York is not feeling it for what is probably his most popular piece of work Pretty Woman. Some whores can quote every line in Pretty Woman from memory and some can even tell you the color order of the rubbers Vivian presents to Edward (I hate myself for this), but Richard hardly remembers that shit. It isn’t because the mad gerbil disease he suffers from ate his memory. It’s because Richard can’t stand that movie, because he feels it glorifies Wall Street types. Richard said this mess of words to Woman’s Day:

“People ask me about that movie, but I’ve forgotten it. That was a silly romantic comedy. This is a much more serious movie that has some real cause and effect. It made those guys seem dashing, which was so wrong. Thankfully, today, we are all more sceptical of those guys.”

Richard, please shut your hole on a gerbil. Bitch calls it a “silly romantic comedy” and then says it is a “much more serious movie”? I think one of those gerbils crawled up into his head and is now operating his brain. (UPDATE: That “much more serious” part was about the movie Richard is whoring out right now. So obviously I’m the one with a brain operating gerbil. Makes sense!)

Nobody took that movie seriously, because it’s a fluffy piece of airy shit. I didn’t watch that movie and think to myself, “When I grow up, I want to be a Hollywood Blvd. hooker so that I can meet a billionaire in a Lotus Esprit who will whisk me off to shopping montages set to a Roy Orbison song and defend my honor by beating up Jason Alexander.” Okay, I did think that, but this just proves that Pretty Woman didn’t glorify Wall Street types. It glorified pussy peddlers. Get it right, Richard!

Besides, how can that gerbil fucker knock a movie that exposed us to the brilliance of Snobby Saleswoman #2?

It’s VEEEREEE expensive, Richard. You’re obviously in the wrong place. Please leave!

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