January And Child

March 19, 2012 / Posted by:

Parts of JFK had to be thawed out this past weekend after stone cold ice queen January Jones strut through with her 6-month-old son Xander Jones. The National Enquirer, Star Magazine, InTouch and all those other tabloid hos shouldn’t be able to sleep at night, because it’s been MONTHS and they still haven’t told us who’s sending January a child support check every month! How do they live with themselves?!

You know, most babies look like skin blobs with cheeks to me, so I’m not the one to say that Xander’s got Matthew Vaughn’s hairline or Jason Sudeikis’ ear lobes or Bobby Flay’s lashes or Xander Berkley’s left nostril or Jim Bob Duggar’s graceful demeanor. Yeah, I know Jim Bob wasn’t on the list of January’s possible baby daddies, but whenever I see a white kid and I don’t know who their father is, I just assume it’s Jim Bob Duggar.

And you might be wondering if January Fergie-ed herself on the flight, but that isn’t piss running down her leg. January just forgot to wear her dry ice bra on the flight, so her frozen heart melted and ran down her leg. That’s all.

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