“Prometheus” Trailer: In Space Everyone Can You Hear You Scream Cuz’ Shit Is LOUD

March 18, 2012 / Posted by:

In the trailer for Prometheus, dick-of-the-moment Michael Fassbender is looking thoughtfully at his fingers and says “big things have small beginnings.” We get it. Prometheus is obviously a thinly veiled allegory about his huge cock. There’s a lot of running and screaming, slimy goo on fingers, Charlize Theron looking intense, and planet-shattering. This is what happens when he swings it about. Oh, and Clooney publicly salivates over it at the Golden Globes.

Director Ridley Scott’s Prometheus is supposedly the prequel to the Alien series. The lead chick (Noomi Rapace) was Lisbeth Salander.0. She played The Girl With/Who before the Vulcan Rooney Mara was living long and prospering on David Fincher’s face.

This extremely shrieky trailer gave me a total fanboy hard-on. Sexy astronauts hauling ass through spaceship corridors because they’re being chased by hideous alien monsters gives me the same feeling a KatherineHeiglKateHudsonSarahJessicaParker rom-com gives Jennifer Love Hewitt. A deep feeling of intense jealousy and a moistening of the pussy area.

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