Gaga Told Oprah That She’s Through Giving Interviews, Wants Kids

March 18, 2012 / Posted by:

Oprah Winfrey’s “Support OWN So I Don’t Have To Put On A Reality Show Where Gayle And I Go To Work As Colonic Irrigation Technicians” campaign is picking up steam. Following up her kinda predatory-in-the-timing interview with Bobbi Kristina, God went to Gaga’s mom’s place and spoke to mother and attentionsuck.

Gaga sez her creative process involves her closing herself off from the world (*eye-roll*) and then informed O that this would be her last interview during her Born This Way Ball Tour (ugh, please edit that title).

“No press, no television, if my mom calls and says, ‘Did you hear about …’ I shut it all off … I don’t read a damn thing,” Gaga claimed. There is no way this one shuts off her Watchmen multimedia wall globally attuned to every little mention of her. She’s got a @ladygaga Twitter feed that runs inside her eyelids.

And the big funny statement:

“Other than this interview, Oprah, I do not intend to speak to anyone for a very long time.”

*chortle* Does anyone else envision Michael K. dancing a gay little jig over that statement? Uh, actually those are just booze-induced seizures.

This ain’t gonna happen, by the way. Ms. Germanotta gave imaginary interviews in her nappies. Gaga without a camera in her face and a mike in her mouth is like like Lohan without courthouse camera clicks or cocainya. It would be a horrible Trainspotting-esque withdrawal scene for both of them. Gaga’s real hair might actually grow back if she stopped giving interviews.

Oh, and she also says that she wants kids. She wants enough for “a soccer team”. The kid playing goalie is gonna look sorta weird with glass dildo cleats.

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