Open Post: Hosted By The Dark Shadows Trailer

March 16, 2012 / Posted by:

The original Dark Shadows was a campy, busted, terrible mess of dreckery and it was brilliant in every way. It had the production values of a Mexican porn and the actors didn’t strain one ounce of their being to give a fuck. In one episode, one of the actors (I can’t remember which one), read her lines off of a napkin or paper lying on the dining table. Lindsay Lohan would’ve killed it on that show! So I was hoping that Tim Burton would bring some of that low-budget “filmed in the back room of a supermarket” glamour to the movie. I wasted a hope for NOTHING, because that’s not what he did. I’m sort of torn like a Duggar cooch over this trailer. It has some promise, but overall it looks like The Addams Family Values, the worst parts of The Royal Tenenbaums and a My Chemical Romance video had a PG-13 threesome in the clearance section of a Halloween store. On a positive note: EVA GREEN CHICHIS!

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >