Hot Slut Of The Day!
Hologram Palm Tree Sunglasses straight from the iridescent fart bubble of magical ridiculousness known as the 1980s. These sunglasses were everything to pretty much everyone in my school when I was a kid. We thought this shit was the future. We thought that in the far off 2000s, everyone would have a hologram beach scene in their eyes (fuckery in their eyes, if you will). Those things were a mess. You really haven’t seen Welcome to the Dollhouse-like gayness until you’ve seen an 8-year-old me wearing torn jorts over spandex biker shorts, a Body Glove tank top, neon gladiator sandals and these fucked up sunglasses. It looked like tragedy gargled on an oil slick before barfing up in my face. It makes sense that my mom bought me these things at the swap meet, because most items of glamour are found on a Saturday morning in the parking lot of a community college.