Jennie Garth doesn’t need Peter Facinelli when she’ll always have that stunning outfit in the “there’s a broken light bulb back there for a reason” section of her closet. Unlike Peter, that gorgeous Bisou Bisou circa 1998 top will never do her wrong by sticking its dick in Canadian poon. That’s what Scallywag & Vagabond (if this rumor is true, that can totally be the nickname for Peter’s dick and tongue) says happened to Peter and Jennie’s marriage, anyway. Their source (who may or may not be a scorned Brenda Walsh) claims that while Peter was shooting the last Twilight movie in Vancouver, he got it on with a 20-something Canadian woman. Jennie knew about it, but wrapped herself inside of a June Cleaver shell for the sake of the chirruns.
“Peter had been seeing another woman for quite some time. They tried to make it work for the sake of their children and Jennie played housewife for as long as she could but finally had enough.
Jennie knew. As a lot of couples do, they simply grew apart. As the mother of his children, Peter still loves Jennie very much and vice versa.”
Whether or not Peter’s scallywag wang dipped into the maple cooch of a Canadian mistress whore, the lesson to learn here is that if you want your marriage to last forever, stay away from all things Twilight. ALL THINGS. If Peter wasn’t in Twilight, he wouldn’t have been in Canada and he probably wouldn’t have dicked a Canadian side piece. Twilight: BREAKING MARRIAGES!
And this has nothing to do with anything, but every time I type Peter Facinelli, I really want to type Peter Felchinelli. Peter probably got into that shit with his maybe side piece. Cum-siphoning, kinky bitch.
UPDATE: Jennie and Peter are shocked, appalled and clutching their pearls over this rumor. Peter’s side piece isn’t Canadian! No, they deny the whole thing to People.
“There are rumors out there which are completely untrue and hurtful to our family. We just want to make it very clear – there are no third parties involved.”