Lindsay Lohan Hit A Ho And Ran
Because Lindsay Lohan is such a serious homebody who sits at home sipping distilled room-temperature water while writing the cue cards she'll use for her comeback masterpiece role in that Elizabeth Taylor shit for Lifetime, she was at Sayers Club in Hollywood until 12 this morning. Because Lindsay Lohan is Lindsay Lohan and even a fresh coat of ginge on her weave can't keep her from being a professional fuck up, she hit a dude in the knee with her Porsche before driving away. Take a sip of your morning speed, let it marinate for a second and then say it with me: THIS DUMB BITCH.
The story from TMZ is actually kind of funny and seems like a scam White Oprah would come up with on the spot. LiLo was backing out of the parking lot while surrounded by the paparazzi when her car grazed the knee of a dude who manages the nearby Hookah Lounge (New York Post Headline: HOOKAH MANAGER HIT BY HOOKAH!). LiLo drove away without getting out of her car to check to see if the dude's knee was alright while stealing his wallet with her other hand (missed opportunity, LiLo!). The cops arrived, but TMZ seems to think that they were only there, because LiLo called them earlier to protect her from the paparazzi.
Right after LiLo hit that dude, he told the paparazzi that he was fine and didn't need an ambulance or anything. But then the paparazzi told him that world famous baby stroller-hitter LiLo was the one who kissed his knee hard with her car. The manager said he didn't know who that was, because he's not from America. Dude must've found out quick (note: he Googled "Lizzie Grubman of crackheads" and LiLo was first item), because suddenly he started complaining about pain. He went to the emergency room and he's telling people that he's going to press charges. LiLo is only 14 days away from being probation-free and this could fuck things up for her, but that's not going to happen.
Even if LiLo knocked that dude's knee cap out with her bumper and then stuffed it in her cheek before driving away to rob a nearby Target of their entire supply of blue crack, nothing would happen to her. LiLo is the darling of the California justice system and that club manager is a nobody to them. When I look into my crystal meth ball, I see White Oprah blowing an air kiss at the club manager as police take him away to prison for attacking LiLo's Porsche with his knee. "You can't scam a scammah, wink!" - White Oprah
Here's a few pictures from the other night of LiLo and some 45-year-old court stenographer from the late 80s Ali Lohan leaving a restaurant. That scratch on her Porsche is nothing. Bitch just took out an entire playground of preschoolers, because the paparazzi were in her way.
• 
I find it very hard to believe that he is a club manager and had no idea who she is. That just doesn't make any sense, especially if she was surrounded by the paparazzi at the time.
The wagering at an casino-en-ligne will have many gamblers wanting to come back to place bets again.
I find it very hard to believe that he is a club manager and had no idea who she is. That just doesn't make any sense, especially if she was surrounded by the paparazzi at the time.
Sometime stories get blown out of proportion at this casino-en-ligne and people will take advantage of a situation without having any thought of what it might do to someone else.
Can you imagine how scary it would be to be Lindsay Lohan? I'd be too scared to leave my house.
_______________________
www.dungeonhordes.com
_______________________
How does she get her lines for movies?.... you need brain activity for that, how had can it be to stay away from pap pron zones and just chill (for awhile atleast)... drink and drug in the house if you must woman!
Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!
no really? lindsay is irresponsible? you don't say...
she just doesn't dissapoint me. just when i thought my expectations cant be lowered, she lowers it!!
I have those jeans, but I would never pair it with that jacket. I don't give a shite about her probation or litigioushit affairs. I've given up on our court system in Ca. completely. Usually when one breaks prob. terms here, they're sent to jail or prison. This bitch has had special treatment since day one. My b/f was charged with a misdemeanor drunk in public at a private residence, and was given 3 yrs probation. There was no excuse if he was late or missed any PO requirements. Judge threatened jail pretty much every court date for miniscule errors. So eff this ignorant tweekho called Lindsay. The only justice she will ever meet will be on the street.
I'm totally on board with what you are saying. Why is it that the California legal system is too overwhelmed to run rape kits or house repeat offenders for longer than 4 hours, yet they can send police to a club parking lot to assist a crack head being beset by paparazzi? Am I making an error in argument or is the system f'd up?
She really sucks at driving! From what I've been reading it looks like she's going to get away with this without any problems with her probation.
Ali Lohan appears to be a 41-yr-old who teaches at a small liberal arts college in upstate New York.
I can totally see Ali in a bio-pic about Patty Smith. She really is looking like her. And while I have the utmost respect for Patty's music, poetry, and performance, she was never a beauty.
It is only a matter of time before her older sister dies, kills someone driving under the influence, or goes to jail.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
That's our Lilo!
**************
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 4:50pm.
Seriously how can she afford to drive taht car or live in a hotel.
I read where she was staying at the hotel in a friends room that was already pre paid.*cough* Terry Richardson*cough*
Lol "take him away to prison for attacking LiLo's Porsche with his knee. " hahaha!
Seriously though, how can she hit someone with her car?!? smdh
♥---♥---♥
"... looking in her face is heaven for all the youth and hope and good will." Thamar 03/01/2012 ☺♪☼♫
Seriously how can she afford to drive taht car or live in a hotel. I thought she was broke...so why isn't she living in a bungalo in Tarzana and driving an old Pinto?
I thought she was a HOMEBODY! Utter bullshit.
Both Lohans are on Adderal to the max, check their pupils not reacting to halogen flash photography. Lindsay's slightly more closed because she's also on some sort of maintenance opiate like Suboxone.
I wonder if she has Hep C? That would explain why she looks so old already, and being a ginger it would show more. She's shared everything to knives, needles and bills, why not? I would think it more likely than less. Take care of your liver folks, it's the coolest organ you got.
Take your fingers out of your mouth, you petulant toddler.
Submitted by MissDior on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 2:38pm.
Ali thinks she's werking the fuck out of that jacket! Bitch, please. The lesbian comediennes of the 80's did it better. Paula Poundstone, come snatch this child!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tru dat! I did think it was Paula Poundstone at first.
Ali thinks she's werking the fuck out of that jacket! Bitch, please. The lesbian comediennes of the 80's did it better. Paula Poundstone, come snatch this child!
Someone needs to tell poor little delusional Ali that she is not "model material" and never will be no matter how skinny she gets. It's not going to hurt her career if she eats a sammich.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 11:16am.
"Hell, if I were famous, I'd have a driver AND an assistant to carry all my drugs."
and i bet you'd also be smart enough not to travel in the same vehicle as the assistant
this story made me realize that i forgot to get my pick in my friend's "death pool" last month. damn me.
She looks SO much better with red hair. She just needs to stop with the fillers, change the tip of her nose and make her hair look less wiggy.
To be fair to her, I can imagine her car was surrounded by people flashing their cameras at her. Not too hard to drive into someone, and not too hard to miss it. Imagine how frustrating it must be to constantly be stalked by paps.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 11:16am.
LOL.
******************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
It's not right when Lindzzz looks like the healthier sister.
****************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 11:48am.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 11:18am.
That "blue crack" story is something. So now if we want TIDE like razors and printer cartridges were going to have to scream "Come unlock this!" now for the laundry detergent?
=======================
TexnDoc........right. I wonder how they are that are stealing it. Do you thinknthat thru put it under a housedress like that woman who was stealing a case of beer?lol
-----
Your razors are behind locked cases?? I've never seen that in a store. Actually, I've never seen that with printer cartridges either.
Maybe it's just the weather, but this article feels very nostalgic to me. It's like gossip from years gone by!
I feel like... this is where she belongs.
I love the hair color! I can't believe how good it looks. She probably won't keep it for long since it isn't skanky enough.
The yellow hair was SO gross, anything would have been an improvement. But this is really nice. Wow.
DENYING IT of course.
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/03/lindsay-lohan-i-didnt-hit-...
fuck this loser.
*************************************************
This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache
-Fiona Apple
Crack is back!
DEATH PENALTY pls!
The red eye make up to match her ginger weave does not look good on her.
R'uh R'oh!
PSL - yep, I hope they extend her probation.
Lindsay screwed up again, blah, blah, will she pay the price for it..pause.. *snort*.. blah blah
BUT WTF HAPPENED TO ALI???
in that ensemb, and with that hair, and at that weight, she has a lil karen carpenter right before she died thing going on.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/14/Karen_Carpenter...
**********************
And little one, hold out for a c-section. You don't want to slide down that. ~ Sweetas
The black kid did it. End of story.
I'm getting Winona Ryder/Tina Fey from Ali.
And the ginge in thimb 6 is like "bitch stole mah hairs!"
What in Margot Kidder hell is going on with the Curious Case Of Ali Lohan ? She really DOES look like a 45 yr old court stenographer from the late 80s.. baby girl is not even 20.. Im sure Linds wont rest until she's got Ali all twisted on the juice as well..
That family.. OY..stairsteps of train wreck from front to back ..
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
I hope her probation gets extended. She CANNOT stop fucking up.
*************************************************
This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache
-Fiona Apple
I'd say she should have a driver, but at this point I don't honestly believe she can afford one....maybe she could blow a cabbie or something next time
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 12:15pm.
I wonder if she lied and told the police that she wasn't driving?
And I guess leaving the scene of a crime isn't worthy of even a ticket? The should have drug tested her on the spot since she's been in trouble for that in the past, but I guess since it's Linday Lohan she gets yet another free pass.
There's another article on TMZ where they have a pic of the police talking to her and Ali several blocks away and LiLo is in the *passenger seat* they switched drivers!
Edit: oops...didn't read far enough, others have already seen that article and posted it! Guess that's what I get for reading comments newest to oldest. =op
====================
Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 12:16pm.
GET YOUR GODDAMNED FINGERS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------
DAMN IT, M.E., you beat me to it! Although, I was going to add "you dumb bitch" to the end of it.
Yikes! Ali's hair is terrible.
This sounds like bullshit but Lilo really should just stay home or like someone else mentioned she needs a driver.
GET YOUR GODDAMNED FINGERS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/14/lindsay-lohan-switcheroo-crash-hit-and-run...
PROOF she switched seats.
*rolls eyes*
*************************************************
This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache
-Fiona Apple
Nice. She switches seats with her passenger. She obviously KNEW she hit someone.
Pathetic LOSER!
Die whore.
thank you for wearing pants in that pic by the way.
amagawd ali lohan looks like some old lady.