Jessica Simpson's Baby Will Be Born With Wings!
Daisy Joelina, Slutty Brownie, Kenna Paves (never 4get) and Hunts Point Baloo (if she used the same baby name generator Ashlee Simpson used for Bronx Mowgli) were just some of the names I guessed when Jessica Simpson told Elle Magazine that she and Eric Johnson have already come up with a name for their unborn 4-year-old daughter. Jessica said that the name isn't going to make hos cross their eyes and it'll make sense to some. Well, InTouch Weekly claims they know the name and it makes sense, but it's also making me menstruate out an LOL.
“They tossed around a lot of names, including some wacky ones like Zinfandel, but couldn’t agree on anything,” a family friend confides.“They’re going to call her Maxwell, Maxi for short,” the friend says. Maxwell is Eric’s middle name, and also his beloved grandma’s maiden name. “Jessica wanted a name with meaning.”
And not only has Jessica’s been seen wearing a necklace with a diamond “M” pendant in honor of her little bundle of joy, the couple also already ordered onesies monogrammed with the name! Jessica, 31, is now set to give birth on April 20, three weeks earlier than her original due date. “She’s gained so much weight and the baby is so big that doctors pushed up the date,” reveals her friend.
Jessica really had to fuck with a kid by giving her the nickname of Maxi! MAXI. Does anybody even use maxi pads anymore? Couldn't they have been a little more modern by naming their daughter Diva Cup Johnson or Kotex Johnson? They should just scribble down the name Maxi Pad on her birth certificate, because that's what everybody's going to call her. But let me think about this for a second.
Whenever I hear a baby name, I judge it by picturing the name in glitter on a poster hanging in the window of a gay bar on drag night. If the name lures me into the drag show, it's a winner. If the name leaves me cold and convinces me to eat frozen yogurt on the curb instead, shit is a dud. So, let me try it out:
*MAXI PAD JOHNSON*
Okay, I'd probably go in.
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Guys I'm pretty sure the package of pads in the pic is shopped in :D
And what disgusting, TMI details about the birth is she going to far out in the post pregnancy interview?
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 7:10pm.
Star Jones gained it back, too.
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Star is fat again??
That's so mean, I cant even. Why not just name her "tampon" or "dildo"? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And it's funny (ironic?) that whatever these people do to lose weight always backfires, unless it's diet and exercise. Lipo results only stay if you dont gain more weight and theres simething about how fat cells re-grow in another location. And I think we all know what happens with gastric bypass. Sharon Osborne is the only celeb who's had it that has stayed thin. Star Jones gained it back, too. And tummy tuck are all good but skim stretches, so it's not permanent flat stomach either.
Did anyone try to watch "Fashion Star"? I couldn't get through the first few of minutes dance/run way walk. It seems like one stinker of a show.
The baby didn't get a car?
Submitted by _fail_ on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 7:02pm
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Maybe Max Power..
what is wrong with these people that are so fucking desperate to give the kid an unusual name, they wind up giving it the stupidest name ever (Apple, Pilot inspekter) why not just pick an uncommon REAL name? it's not that hard. maxwell is a fine name for a boy, but a girl?
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I have never loved life so much.
I would think that MK would like a name like "Max Johnson"...
She's not giving birth until April 20th (fitting that her daughter will be born on 4/20 when Mommy spent her pregnancy eating the kind of food that stoners can only imagine)? And that's three weeks earlier than her original due date?
So if her kid was originally supposed to be born in May, that means she was conceived around August of last year. Anyone remember that mummy picture of Jessica when she announced her pregnancy in October? Fuck, she looked five to six months pregnant back then!
I swear, this is elephant-level gestation (JOKE!)
"a name for their unborn 4-year-old daughter" - perfect MK, 6-year-old would work here also! Hahahaha
Yes, I do believe I'd go in too, if it was all glittered up, offered cute dancers and plenty of DRANK!! ;D
♥---♥---♥
"... looking in her face is heaven for all the youth and hope and good will." Thamar 03/01/2012 ☺♪☼♫
Holy crap she is huge. This does not bode well for her future middle aged figure.
So. Fucking. Stupid!!
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Heckler, lol. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
Why not just name her Maxine? But, Maxwell?! That is a boy's name. Also, anyone remember Maxie, Barbie's little sister? Ha..I'm old. So I guess she is the BI that was posted yesterday. Scheduled c-section with a tummy tuck and breast reduction thrown in.
Her Maxi pad kid is going to be born on the day of the Columbine murders anniversary. Kinda like scheduling your baby to be born on 9/11. "Maxi"???? She's such a fucking desperate idiot. It's so obvious he calls the shots in the relationship.
I'm sure the girl will grow up and thank them for giving her a BOY name... why am I not Christopher? oh yeah, I'm a chick.
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I have never loved life so much.
Alright, this has gone on far too long. Just have the damned baby already and be done with it.
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
and who the fuck goes on national TV to pose with female hygiene products?
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I have never loved life so much.
Submitted by Daniee on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 6:44pm.
Sorry, but I just do not understand why she is even relevant for D-listed. What does she even do? Her reality show was over long ago.
=========================she is in a new reality show called Fashion Star with Nichole Ritchie, Elle and a bunch of other "fashion people"
What the hell?
Jessica is becoming really annoying and I used to not mind her. Now I want her to go the fuck away.
And she's not 170lbs, she is at least 185-190. Why lie? Kirstie Alley STILL claims to be a "stretchy size 6". I like K.A. a lot but she hasn't been a 6 since the mid 80s.
These woman bitch about being known for their weight but neither can shut up about it.
Finally Carnie Wilson just the hell up after years of being known for her weight and then her bariatric surgery that was broadcast live and all her weight loss - cover of People Magazine etc.
She's fat again and just says "look, I'm fat". That I can respect.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Bigbendy on Wed, 03/14/2012 - 6:44pm.
Ok.....I'm stupid. Will someone explain to me what is going on in this picture.
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Justin Beiber just got his period and Glenda the white whale appeared with pads to help contain the flow.
Ugh! Maxi?! It's almost as bad as people who brag about naming thier little girl Madison but then emphasize "but we're going to call her Madi!" as if every other little white girl in middle America doesn't have the same name. *rolls eyes*
P.S. Maxi pads are like wearing diapers ewww (unless you have a heavy flow) #TeamTampons!
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Sorry, but I just do not understand why she is even relevant for D-listed. What does she even do? Her reality show was over long ago.
Ok.....I'm stupid. Will someone explain to me what is going on in this picture.