Charlize Theron somehow found time between gay bar “canoodling” with ASkars and eating black chicken on Top Chef: Texas to adopt a BABY!!!!! Charlize’s rep confirms to People that a baby boy can now call her “mommy” after she adopted his ass recently.
“She is the proud mom of a healthy baby boy named Jackson.”
UsWeekly says that Jackson is African-American and was born in the United States.
If you’re happy for Charlize and Jackson, send them a congratulatory smoke signal by taking a hit from a granny smith apple bong. If you don’t care, pretend you do so that you have an excuse for taking a hit from a granny smith apple bong in the middle of the day.