We Should’ve Seen The Warning Signs

March 13, 2012 / Posted by:

This picture of Jennie Garth, Peter Facinelli and their family was taken a few years ago and not one of us noticed the silent CROCS cry for help. Nothing blatantly says “WE’VE GIVEN UP ON LIFE AND LOVE” like putting your entire family in CROCS. We could’ve done something about it, but now it’s too late because the love between Kelly Taylor and Coop from Nurse Jackie has died just like the feeling in my feet dies when I see a picture of those plastic Lucifer hooves.

Jennie and Peter pushed out a statement to E! News saying that they are putting their 11-year-old marriage to bed forever:

“While we have decided to end our marriage, we both share the same deep love and devotion to our children. We remain dedicated to raising our beautiful daughters together. We ask for privacy and respect during this time.”

Jennie and Peter didn’t give a reason why (how dare their asses, I know), but I have three theories:

1. Amanda Bynes.

2. Twatlight: Breaking Hymen, Part 2 is coming out in a few months and Peter’s going to need a date to the premiere. Jennie Garth would rather end her marriage than watch another minute of that shit show. That wouldn’t be an unreasonable reaction.

3.

Because Brenda Walsh always gets REVENGE (even 20 years later).

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