Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Are Still Humping On Each Other

March 12, 2012 / Posted by:

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling have been putting the bang and cock in Bangkok for the past six weeks while he’s shooting Only God Forgives and the picture above of them having a staring eye contest in a bar was taken only last week. (Note: Scientists have proven that if you have a staring eye contest with Ryan, you will automatically win, because you’ll get so lost in the orgasm globe he calls eyes that you’ll forget to blink.) But over the weekend, The Daily Mail said that Ryan and Eva did the Out of this World finger freeze on their relationship and he flew to South Africa to think. The news that Ryan Gosling is back on the market made hos freak out and caused a snapping vagina frenzy. But tell your pussy to calm itself, because both Lainey Gossip and USWeekly say that Eva and Ryan are still licking sweet chili sauce off of each other’s nipples.

A witness told The Daily Mail that Ryan was spotted on a romantic dinner date in Cape Town with some blonde German model last week. Lainey says this is impossible since Ryan was in Bangkok every day last week.

I know, it’s hard to believe that the literary journal of all things true The Daily Mail would ever EVER tell a lie. If The Daily Mail told me that a second anus hole grew on my taint, I’d immediately run out to buy a conjoined dicks vibrator. That’s how much I believe them, so there has to be a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe Ryan Gosling has teleportation powers. Or maybe there’s two Ryan Goslings on this planet, which means that doubles your chances at getting Gosling’ed. Okay, your chocha can start snapping again.

(Picture via @busypartyboy)

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