I know the last thing anybody wants to see on a Monday morning is something Chris Brown’s beaver molars have gnawed, but let’s just get this shit out of the way so we can quickly move no to more important and newsworthy stories like PUSSY ELEVATORS! It’s been about 7 seconds since RiRi’s Barbadian nipple knobs have gotten any camera time and if the eyes of a stranger don’t gaze into their slit holes every hour on the hour, they’ll shrivel into raisin dust like ear drums when she sings live. So RiRi put them on display while struttin’ to Da Silvano in NYC last night.
You know, I’m all for a trick looking like she just drunkenly fell titties-first into a screen door (it keeps the flies out), but this entire look is a damn fucking mesh. Bitch looks like a truck stop hooker circa 1991 who is hitchhiking to Hollywood to live out her dream of being a Fly Girl on In Living Color. That sweater mesh thing is confusing me and those 90s jeans remind me of desperate times when I would sit on my bedroom floor carefully ripping holes into my Bugle Boys with pinking shears to make it look like they just naturally tore that way.
And I’m 99% sure that at least one member of Bell Biv DeVoe wore this exact outfit back in the day and I’m 99% sure that he wore it better.