Somebody Got A MasterCuts Blow Out

March 11, 2012 / Posted by:

You know it’s a special occasion when Brad Pitt gets defleaed and fully groomed. Brad got his anal glands pinched and flat ironed his way to Fabio levels of beauty last night for the Make It Right Gala in New Orleans. Yes, Brangelina’s maids spent most of their night scrubbing the ass jelly, scalp grease and dick smegma from the bottom of Brad Pitt’s shower, but it was well worth it, because for once he didn’t have a Pig Pen cloud of stank around him.

That blowout made Brad look like a Keith Urban wax figure made with orange candle gel and a recycled wig from a Jennifer Aniston mannequin, so what I’m saying is that this is a few steps up from bitch’s usual raggedy look. And I don’t even mind that he’s dressed like he should have a stack of cocktail napkins and a plastic tray of canapés in his hand.

Here’s more of St. Angie and Brad at last night’s thing as well as some pictures of Angie walking around with three members of the child army in New Orleans today. I guess a daily diet of McDonald’s and gas station food is the way to go, because Zahara and Pax are almost adult people height! And I see Zahara trying to keep Blue Ivy in check with that blue braid. Shots fired.

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