Eurovision, the disco ball fart pushed out of a yodeling unicorn’s glittery asshole, is upon us again, but every other country besides Russia can pack up their fuckery kits, go home and take the rest of the month off. Because nothing can top Buranovskiye Babushki (Google translation alert: that means “poppin’ memaw pussies” in Russian), the 6 grannies from the village of Buranovo whose song “Party for Everybody” has been chosen as Russia’s official Eurovision entry.
Just like my abuelita, these singing Babushkies, always wear everything in their closet, keep a whoopin’ belt strapped to their chests at all times and the party don’t start until they say so. Just look at the little one. She partied her dentures off! Give them the trophy NOW!