Hot Slut Of The Day!
Godzilla, the Cujo of wild turkeys who waits in the shadows every morning, softly gobbling the melody to "Every Breath You Take" while waiting for the object of his stalking to come out.
Edna Geisler of Commerce Township, Michigan tells Freep.com that she feels like Stephen King is writing her life, because every single day for the past two months, Godzilla has been terrorizing the life out of her every time she goes past her front door. Godzilla comes out from the woods at 7 in the morning, the theme song to Jaws plays and he starts his stalking. He screeches at Edna and sometimes when he's feeling extra cunty he bumps her with his chest or tries to scratch at her with his claws. Edna once left her house before 7am, thinking that she could outsmart Godzilla, but that cunturkey don't play and he was waiting for her when she got back. Edna is hoping Godzilla will be gone by the spring, but if he isn't she already has a baster, an onion, a box of Stove Top and some browned butter with his ass' name on it.
Edna sees Godzilla trying to shank her with his beak as an act of violent bitchiness, but I see it as a love peck. Edna sees Godzilla screaming at her as a direct threat, but I see it as his way of blowing an air kiss. Godzilla is in turkey love, that's all. Godzilla is the Lindsay Lohan to Edna's Terry Richardson. So what I'm saying is that if Edna doesn't feel the same way about Godzilla, she shouldn't cum on his face while taking a picture of it, because that it'll make it worse.
Edna can run, she can hide, but she can't escape Godzilla's love!
(For Domenick)
• 
Ha ha - someone made a song from the video - it's really fuuny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAu97i4-PJE
A lovely Sunday dinner could be enjoyed by all... I'm sure Godzilla would be yummy.
I too am scared of large birds. Who am I kidding, I'm scared of pigeons!
That turkey is not the one. I'd run his ass over with my car.
guess what only the beginning of these things, habitats are gone to bull dozers....with 4 M houses in foreclosure dey still build more....not for the turkeys!!!
Turkeys are f*cking delicious but I would never want to run into one in a dark alley...or anywhere else, really. I am scared shitless of wild birds of any kind. This turkey attack is really nothing compared to THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2doG1XmR4w
Relentless. Hilarious but I'd have a complete nervous breakdown if I were the subject of such an assault.
Either get a big dog or enjoy it because when spring is gone he'll forget all about you.
Watching that turkey scared the shit out of me!
I'm scared of birds.
My neighbours owned Muscovy ducks and those mean motherfuckers would land on my roof and wait for me to leave the house.
Hekki: It seems the turkey population in CT is growing. Have spent time in a very wooded part of NW CT all my life & the sightings are far more frequent now. Black bears are moving in, too.
We used to get stalked every day by a ferocious turkey while working on a project in Peru. Finally bought him from the campesino & ate him.
That turkey is totally in love with that 69 yr old woman! I think she should just lay back and think of England... OK, I think I just grossed myself out a little.
It's meat on the hoof. You've got a gun don't you? A knife? Put that bitch in an oven at 350 and forget about it.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Surfing the apocalypse.
THank you SDR!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 12:11pm.
Hold up! What's the difference between red and green shell? A greenhorn wants to know!
-------------------
A red shell is bird shot which has a bajillion little pellets in it. A green shell is a slug. Bam, you is dead.
I am laughing! That damn bird waits for her at her van and then stalks her ass!??!! I like that bird.....with gravy! I kid. I kid.
Turkey pot turkey pot turkey pot pie!
*********************
I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
If she named him she sure as hell isn't gonna kill him. Next thing you know that turkey will have a bed in the kitchen and a turkey door so he can go make in the woods. Ahahahaha!
On a serious note, in CT where my dad lives and in long Island where MIL has a place, there have been frequent wild turkey sightings. People are building houses where their habitats are. They're being flushed out and it really is sad if you think about it.
But they are ooogly birds. And surprisingly loud.
Submitted by nikkicage3 on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 12:03pm.
Love the turkey at the 38 second mark! He is actually throwing down!!
--------------------------------------------
HAHA! He's like "WHAT BITCH. I dare you."
This turkey's a gangsta.
-----------------------------------------------
"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Hold up! What's the difference between red and green shell? A greenhorn wants to know!
Love the turkey at the 38 second mark! He is actually throwing down!!
That turkey is bent on revenge for the genocide perpetrated on its kind. Good for him.
LOL, i can totally picture edna using that broom on the poor bastard.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 11:21am.
I'm kidding. I'm guessing you accidentally grabbed the green shells instead of the red ones??
------------------------
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! you know too much!!!
_____________________________________________
"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 11:04am.
LOL... yes, ma'am. *tips hat*
I was down at the lakehouse one time and this fucking woodpecker would not quit beatin the shit out of the eve of the house.... lasted for several days. Little fucker woke me up one morning (little hungover) and I'd had enough... walked out in the snow, in my DRAWZ, and shot his ass with a 12 gauge. However, the joke was on me as I blew a huge fucking hole in the eve of the house.... damn bird.
-----------------------------------
Ya know Jack, if you hadn't let those eves rot, that poor widdle bird wouldn't have been hunting bugs. He prolly heard enough bugs in those rotten eves to feed his entire bird family for a year. ;-p
I'm kidding. I'm guessing you accidentally grabbed the green shells instead of the red ones??
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 11:04am.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 10:57am.
Jack, you liked that, huh?
-------------------
and shot his ass with a 12 gauge. However, the joke was on me as I blew a huge fucking hole in the eve of the house.... damn bird
==============================================
LMAO!
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 11:11am.
Only thing worse is a nesting swan - those fuckers are VICIOUS.
-----------------
saw a guy at a park feeding the ducks and got a little too close to a swan and that motherfucker came UNGLUED.... I almost pissed my pants laughin.
_____________________________________________
"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Only thing worse is a nesting swan - those fuckers are VICIOUS.
Why put up with that fuckery?? Shoot the thing and dinner is served. That cunturkey is just asking for it.
►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
That Turkey is PISSED. BWAHAHAHAHHA.
**************************************************************
#KONY2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc
Please watch, learn and share. 2012 is the year.
LMAO! Oh come on, grow some brass ones! Haha Stand up to that cunturkey, who thinks it's a bull, OLE! OLE! Hahhaha ;]
♥---♥---♥
"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
Well you'd be a cunturkey too if, one by one, your family members got picked off every November! I assume this thing is a wild turkey, yes? I would've whacked it with my purse or something. Die turkey, die!
"Picking a favorite blog is like picking a favorite crackhead. I don't know if I can do it" (MK, you're my fave crackhead)
That thing would be rolling down my kitchen floor (Mr. Uvy has bad luck with turkeys staying in ovens) next Thanksgiving.
**************************************
Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Team shoot it! Bastardizing bird. Jeeze. I hate turkey unless it's subway or boars head. Deli meat ftw.
*****************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 10:57am.
Jack, you liked that, huh?
-------------------
LOL... yes, ma'am. *tips hat*
I was down at the lakehouse one time and this fucking woodpecker would not quit beatin the shit out of the eve of the house.... lasted for several days. Little fucker woke me up one morning (little hungover) and I'd had enough... walked out in the snow, in my DRAWZ, and shot his ass with a 12 gauge. However, the joke was on me as I blew a huge fucking hole in the eve of the house.... damn bird.
_____________________________________________
"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
FUCKING RACIST TURKEY HATING MYSOGINISTS!!!
RE-FUCKING-PORTED!
*sets oven to 350*
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! (I'm a bad shot)
Problem solved.
You're welcome.
ewww kill that fuckin thing!
******************************************
Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
Aww he's trying to tell her sromething? That's her husband but she doesn't know it. He's adorable.
lease Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Jack, you liked that, huh?
I was sitting here wondering how much that fucker weighs and how hard it would be to wrestle it down and twist its neck. And if it would be safe to eat.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 10:46am.
If that were me, I'd kill that motherfucking turkey.
-----------
SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
_____________________________________________
"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Nothing that a shotgun and some dressing won't fix...
_____________________________________________
"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
If that were me, I'd kill that motherfucking turkey. Yes I would.
But I think she likes the turkey. Which is cool.
KILL THE BITCH!!!!!!!!!
I know she has an axe - did you see all of that chopped wood? She should axe its neck off. Or just kick it in the face if it is attacking her. I assume there is no animal control or she would have called already. I say kill it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
thinking that she could outsmart Godzilla, but that cunturkey don't play
============================================
LOL!! MK I'm crying here!
Nothing a 12gauge won't fix.
Two words: air horn. Use it on the turkey, too, not just Edna.
I feel bad for laughing because I know how scary those fuckers can be but laugh I did. Poor Edna.
Someone send her a special turkey whacking broom.
Godzilla is the Lindsay Lohan to Edna's Terry Richardson.
Bahahaahha, I can just imagine Lilo stalking and waiting to jump her cooch on top of uncle terry while he tries to get to his car.