Hot Slut Of The Day!

Godzilla, the Cujo of wild turkeys who waits in the shadows every morning, softly gobbling the melody to “Every Breath You Take” while waiting for the object of his stalking to come out.

Edna Geisler of Commerce Township, Michigan tells Freep.com that she feels like Stephen King is writing her life, because every single day for the past two months, Godzilla has been terrorizing the life out of her every time she goes past her front door. Godzilla comes out from the woods at 7 in the morning, the theme song to Jaws plays and he starts his stalking. He screeches at Edna and sometimes when he’s feeling extra cunty he bumps her with his chest or tries to scratch at her with his claws. Edna once left her house before 7am, thinking that she could outsmart Godzilla, but that cunturkey don’t play and he was waiting for her when she got back. Edna is hoping Godzilla will be gone by the spring, but if he isn’t she already has a baster, an onion, a box of Stove Top and some browned butter with his ass’ name on it.

Edna sees Godzilla trying to shank her with his beak as an act of violent bitchiness, but I see it as a love peck. Edna sees Godzilla screaming at her as a direct threat, but I see it as his way of blowing an air kiss. Godzilla is in turkey love, that’s all. Godzilla is the Lindsay Lohan to Edna’s Terry Richardson. So what I’m saying is that if Edna doesn’t feel the same way about Godzilla, she shouldn’t cum on his face while taking a picture of it, because that it’ll make it worse.

Edna can run, she can hide, but she can’t escape Godzilla’s love!

(For Domenick)