The executives at Lifetime must be patting themselves on the horns this morning, because last night’s episode of Dance Moms won the not-so-coveted pedophile demographic and made Toddlers & Tiaras look like a video tutorial on how to be a good parent. Head monster in charge, Abby Lee Miller, continued to live vicariously through her skinny dance students by putting them in as little clothes as possible to give the illusion that they were naked showgirls. The moms were appalled, but not one of them busted a citizen’s arrest on their own asses for letting this happen. The judges nearly ran to Claire’s to buy pearls for them to clutch, but not one of them cried for Chris Hansen to deliver them from this evil. And Abby Lee Miller sat there, eating while bahahahahaha-ing on the inside at how she’s corrupted another young soul.
Who in the Jon Benet Dance Troupe Hell thinks it’s okay to put “naked,” “on stage” and “10-year-old” together in the same equation. Somebody needs to turn Abby Evil Miller around to look for a zipper on her back, because I’m pretty sure she’s PedoBear wearing a reworked Ursula costume.