I'm So Excited! I'm So Excited! I'm So Excited...That Nomi Malone Is Knocked Up
Not since Jessie Spano overdosed on meth pills has her insides been this EXCITED!!! about anything. Elizabeth Berkley told TMZ yesterday that sometime this summer she's going to thrust thrust thrust out her first baby with her artist husband Greg Lauren. Yes, Greg Lauren is the romance novel cover beauty in the picture above. The wind is always blowing in Greg's luscious mane, his eyes are always sparkling like he can see the sun setting in your eyes and it's always 5 o'clock on his beard area. Nomi chose well.
Nomi's mouth birthed out this block of cheese about her baby news:
"In life there are moments you cherish forever and this is one of them. We are so excited to share this moment and special news! The baby is due this summer"
If Nomi doesn't name her kid "Versacye," I will never forgive her. I will also never forgive her if she doesn't have a pool birth and get Kyle McLachlan to be her lamaze partner, so they can recreate the pool flopping scene from Showgirls. AKA the greatest scene in the history of fine cinema.
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He also is an actor. From our friend Wikipedia:
"Lauren portrayed Brett Nelson on The Young and the Restless and has appeared in such films as Friends & Family, The Wedding Planner, and Boogie Nights. A successful painter, Lauren's nudes command up to $15,000 and have been bought by such celebs as Renée Zellweger, Demi Moore, Ben Stiller, and Cuba Gooding, Jr."
I'd LOVE to see those pictorial tributes to actors' egos!
I saw them together once. He's kinda short -- like, 5'7 or so -- which kills any possible hot, for me. She seemed really, um, opposite of smart. His birth name is Greg Lauren Smith but he knocked off the Smith part.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:54am.
Sweetas, yes one half of her eye is brown. I have a friend with this condition. She gets pissed at me because I stare at it but I can't help it. It is so distracting
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I knew a girl back in grade 8 that had one green eye and one brown eye, her name was Jasmine and I was CRAZY about her. I wonder whatever happened to Jazzy?
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I also had a childhood crush with this same condition, only hers were blue and hazel. Like Bowie in your avatar!
I think it's pretty and very unique... but wall-eyed people drive me fucking crazy, though. I can't help but move my head in hopes of making their eyes focus correctly!
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
squiggles and skabazzle
get off the D and go rent this craptacular achievement in film NOW!!!! You won't be sorry.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:53am.
He looks like Prince Charming
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LMAO, I KNEW I saw that chin somewhere!
Since Ralph Lauren's name is made up, why would his nephew have the same last name?
He looks like a phony douche.who chamged his name to take advantage of his uncle's fame.
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:54am.
Sweetas, yes one half of her eye is brown. I have a friend with this condition. She gets pissed at me because I stare at it but I can't help it. It is so distracting
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I knew a girl back in grade 8 that had one green eye and one brown eye, her name was Jasmine and I was CRAZY about her. I wonder whatever happened to Jazzy?
Submitted by squiggles on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:33am.
Submitted by skabazzle on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:24am.
Squiggles, I've never seen it (all the way through, anyway) either. I think it's one of those where you have to see it with people who've watched it 1,000 times lol.
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Know what would be awesome? If it were on and we had an open post! I've seen it on but flipped by it b/c I thought it was just a crappy movie rather than a SPECTACULARLY crappy movie. Now I know betta.
Yes! Like live-blogging the Oscars, but with Showgirls! hahaha
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:59am.
Thanks Bigbendy! She's so pretty anyway. I hear you about your friend...I knew a guy that was walleyed and felt so bad, I never knew which eye to look at, and was distracted by staring too long/not making eye contact. It's not our fault! :p
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^^^^this! What is someone to do in this situation??
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...the end
Her career pretty much ended after showgirls... not that she had a lot going on BEFORE that shitty movie, but still, it must really suck to be mainly known for acting in a flick that makes Transformers 2 look like Citizen Kane.
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
i absolutely love showgirls!!!what a great camp movie. if i ever see it for sale at target i swear ill pick it up, otherwise i wont go out of my way to buy it, nevertheless it is a fun movie and brings back memories of fun times. VERSAYCE indeed!!! classic.
♫ 1 2 3 STRETCH
♫ 1 2 3 STRETCH
♪ HERE'S A MESSAGE THAT I'M SENDING TO YOU!!!
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO
♪ A LITTLE WORK NEVER HURT NO ONNEE!
♪ IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET THINGS DONE
♫PUT YOUR MIND TO IT GO FOR IT
♫GET DOWN AND BREAK A SWEAT!
♪ROCK N ROLLLLLL YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN YET!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:49am.
He looks naturally gorgeous to me, Whamo. Of course he can't compete with you.
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*jumps up on desk does Tarzan yell, winks, finger pistol shoots self in full size mirror in front of desk*
WHAT!:)
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:29am.
I give them 2 years.
What is this comment... They've been married since 2003.
I don't see the appeal about brootiful men like that. They do nothing for me.
Thanks Bigbendy! She's so pretty anyway. I hear you about your friend...I knew a guy that was walleyed and felt so bad, I never knew which eye to look at, and was distracted by staring too long/not making eye contact. It's not our fault! :p
Elizabeth is 39 and has been married to this fine piece if man meat for years and is JUST now knocked up?! I've ssen her in interviews and seems like a really down to earth person and is also a professional dancer,trained in ballet...which makes her "dancing" in Showgirls all the more embarrassing LOL.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
@Whamo,
Maybe even in prison they would let Prince Charming rule them all?
Anybody remember how Liz turned down Leo DiCaprio and his pussy patrol back in the day, after the movie came out, and the pussy patrol beat her boyfriend?
And Leo was flabbergasted that she STILL said no!!
looks like that growing zygot hit the genetic jackpot - Daddy is more of a "was an actor" turned ar-tiste, which accounts for the soap opera looks. uncle is Ralph Lauren.
yep, the kid's got it made...
He looks like a less-creepy Jeremy Jackson.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_jLuvsF0Z_oU/SHAi04nSldI/AAAAAAAABd8/-6L5vZ8RaE...
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Douchechill!
Sweetas, yes one half of her eye is brown. I have a friend with this condition. She gets pissed at me because I stare at it but I can't help it. It is so distracting.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:45am.
You are simply jealous! That guy is just so beautiful
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Ya...well.......OK I got nothin...
Wait! He's not beautiful he's pretty, not good if you're in prison...SO THERE!
He looks like Prince Charming.
I look at him and automatically start singing "Gaston". Now I need to know if every last inch of him's covered with hair.
Dude reminds me of Fabio here, with shorter, but equally tacky hair: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1639422720/nm0005127
He doesn't strike me as gay, he strikes me as in love with himself.
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
He is very handsome. TOO handsome.
I'd be a mess if I were married to him. Always with the people trying to fuck on him.
But their kid will probably be gorgeous.
He looks naturally gorgeous to me, Whamo. Of course he can't compete with you.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:43am.
" Gets snorkel"
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That made me snort out loud! :)
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:45am.
You are simply jealous! That guy is just so beautiful... I actually want to run my fingers through his thick and silky black hair!
Watch the movie kids, but watch it through the teenage-eyes of a horny Michael, who though discovering his gayness, still gets turned on by a beautiful pair of breasts.
The movie is shitty. But good in its shittiness.
Like Slapshot.
Submitted by letinstar on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:37am.
i bet the hubby fights her for mirror space...
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LOL, sorry didn't mean to step on your yuks but I guess great minds think alike:)
Paul Verhoeven, who directed "Showgirls", has a tendency to become smitten with his leading ladies. It happened with Monique van de Ven, a Dutch actress, during the making of his first major film, "Turkish Delight". Other crushes of Verhoeven were Sharon Stone ("Basic Instinct") and Berkley, among many others. Unfortunately, his sexual desires have sometimes had a negative effect on his work.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
I wonder who spends more time in front of the mirror?
"Hi I'm Biff Spiff, nice to meet me"
*said in best deep cartoon voice*
She was pretty good as Horatio's cray cray wife for awhile on CSI Miami.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
i bet she totally got water up her nose during that scene. that sucks.
but they are a beautiful couple, nonetheless.
Kyle can bend me over in a pool anyday
" Gets snorkel"
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I have never loved life so much.
Hilarious post, MK. And yeah, when I first saw that scene I thought poor Nomi was having a mid-coitus epileptic seizure and dude wouldn't even bother helping her. RUDE!
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
Call me paranoid, call me whatever u want to but I think he's gay.
i bet the hubby fights her for mirror space...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Aw, they're so pretty. Is one of her eyes half brown? *cleans monitor*
Submitted by skabazzle on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:24am.
Squiggles, I've never seen it (all the way through, anyway) either. I think it's one of those where you have to see it with people who've watched it 1,000 times lol.
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Know what would be awesome? If it were on and we had an open post! I've seen it on but flipped by it b/c I thought it was just a crappy movie rather than a SPECTACULARLY crappy movie. Now I know betta.
He is the nephew of Ralph Lauren and his painting are mostly nudes. I wonder if the subjects of his art wear chaps?
MK, you know waaaay too much about that shitfest of a movie. I watched it once and didn't know whether to like it or be appalled, so I settled for both.
I,too, mispronounced Versace when I first saw it written down.
*hides*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Lmao @ that scene!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I give them 2 years.
Submitted by squiggles on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:16am.
Good for them. I'm surprised she's 39 already. Never saw the phenomenon that is Showgirls, though. Am I missing something?
Squiggles, I've never seen it (all the way through, anyway) either. I think it's one of those where you have to see it with people who've watched it 1,000 times lol.
I started giggling reading the "I'm so excited!!" in the headline for this one.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
I want to see her husband thrust it.
"We cash the check and give them what they want to see"
Haven't seen her in a while, but she looks great.
It all makes sense now. I remember falling asleep with the TV on on and waking about 6am to "I'm so excited! I'm so excited!" and thinking W.T.F.!? I hate waking to bad acting. Acting so bad it wakes you out of a stupor.
you HAVE to watch showgirls. It's a trainwreck extrodanaire...
damn, he's almost TOO pretty, you know?
congrats to them.
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I have never loved life so much.
oh wow she has one brown eye and one blue eye just like Kate Bosworth...or maybe she overdid it with the Latisse? *blink blink*
Submitted by squiggles on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:16am.
Good for them. I'm surprised she's 39 already. Never saw the phenomenon that is Showgirls, though. Am I missing something?
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You're missing a lot. It is one of those movies that is so bad its brilliant. I thought I was the only one who thought the pool scene was the best thing in the world.