Tom Hanks' Son Tweets A Gift For All You Ladies Out There
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's son Chester Hanks (it's "Chet Haze" if you cut your Alize with Summer's Eve) has already murdered the white boy rap game by spittin' rhymes that sounds like an Enimen queef and now he's killing heterosexual relationships everywhere by Tweeting pictures of his humble nipples. Chet posted this picture of his nipples and a background blonde (who is probably happy that Chet is too busy humping the camera to hump her) and continued to fart out a shrine to himself by posting another one:
If you're a dick-loving woman with a boyfriend, then I'm sure you just changed your Facebook status from "in a relationship" to "HAZED!!!!!!" Chet knows the kind of effect he has on chochas and apologized to all boyfriends everywhere for luring their girlfriends to the HAZE side.
Chet then made thousands of gays fart out the broken pieces of their hearts after he let it be known that he's NO HOMO:
I swear, my eyeballs smell like a clean pussy now, because doucheness is dripping off of each of those Tweets.
In case you couldn't tell from Chet's tattoo that looks like the mascot of a bank run by The Fellowship of the Sun, Chet Haze is dumber than a box of chocolates. I mean, I'm so fucking stupid that the other night I tried to get into my apartment for a good 30 seconds before realizing I was on the wrong floor, but whenever I want to feel smarter I just go to Chet's Twitter page. It's as if Tom Hanks made Chet Haze while in character as Forrest Gump. Yes, Tom Hanks is so good at acting that he even cums in character.
Oh, this piece of Chet. So pretty, yet so douchey.
via Buzzfeed
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i thought tom hanks could do no wrong!!!
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
The "douchebaggery" comes from Chet's apology to the boyfriends of ALL the female and male fans he THINKS he has! Look at the way he GIVES IT to the LADIES YO! Still lmfao at Howard Stern talking about him YT! haha ;P
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
This brother got ALL the looks. Kinda hot. Needs to add some beef though...
Come on now, we all know extremely good looking people with perfect bodies are idiots and should keep their mouths shut. They are not being admired for their minds, if they even have one.
Nice EYE CANDY. YUMMY YUM YUM....
I don't care what his sex preference is, who cares? I just want to stare at that for awhile and meditate.
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
If this post came from a gay male with a blond male on the bed in the back ground, it would be ok though right? Labeled under "panty creamer of the day" I'm sure. No douche bag then though right? sheesh.
Best tweet critique and funniest comeback to this douche of Ho-Wood, MK.
what a douchebag.
why don't he and Mamie Gummer get together and ride the Nepotism Express to Nowheresville?
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
I wonder if his brother is as conceited or has such an ego? ;]
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
Really? If either Hulk Hogan, Ozzy Osbourne or Mel Gibson were this douchenozzle's father, then I'd understand the spoiled brat behavior, but the offspring of Tom and Rita's? What a fucking embarrassment must he be to his parents and siblings. And when did he have fans, really? Maybe that escort in the background also doubles as his "fan".
I bet he pulls the "Don't you know who I am card" often in his everyday life, because he looks nothing like his parents.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 11:02pm.
again with the big arms and flat chest.
guys come on! work out your pecs too and legs.
I agree. I want well-developed biceps not just this big lump
I love Tom Hanks, so I can look past this.
again with the big arms and flat chest.
guys come on! work out your pecs too and legs.
Thank you for the Howard Stern clip. This entitled asshole needs to work at a Foot clinic for homeless people. Not hot enough to cover up the douchery. Do Not Want.
Chester you need to join the military and give something back for all the goodies yor family has been given. Sound good Chet?
Warmjuice, I hear you, 100%! Masculine, confident, brains, no arrogance *taking notes...* Keep an open mind though, you may be surprised by what you find! ;)
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
LMAO....funny post. "Just so know" I'm straight. Ahh, does anyone give a shit?
Here is Howard Stern dissing on Chet "Haze":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqhVo7wcMPg
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Thankfully he doesn't look like Tom Hanks and got Rita's hot Greek genes. Too bad he's dumber than shit.
Submitted by Datura: "
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/52/chethazenipples1.jpg/
Ladies... this is for you... (sorry for the quality. I was working with Paint)"
THIS MADE ME GIGGLE HYSTERICALLY.
Thank you.
Also, there were never guys this good looking when I was there.
Picture an entire campus full of Ross Gellars. Bad with women, awkward, and ultra dorky.
Which is entirely accurate, seeing that David Schwimmer went to Northwestern.
He was in Delta Tau Delta. It still makes me lol.
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#OccupyTheKardashians
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Whatever. I'd hit it, with the scent of douchewater and all.
This hot bitch and I share the alma mater. We'd make Northwestern proud.
GO U! N U! Bahahaha.
No, in all seriousness, he's the kind of douche I would have hit and quit back in college. I'm not that lady anymore, so I'll pass.
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#OccupyTheKardashians
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Submitted by She Stinks on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 8:13pm.
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The Howard Stern clips are hilarious, thank you! LMFAO!
"Stab you in you peehole Mothafucka, Homey"
"Whatchu MF talkin' 'bout Willis"
*I am CRYING in laughter, can't see out my peepholes*
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"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
Tom and Rita must be so proud.
DOUCH-AY
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It's already tax time again!? Guess I gotta get my trusted tax adviser, Stephen King, on the phone STAT.
You have to listen to Howard Stern's rant on this guy, its on youtube. Its hysterical. Howard comments on how much of a whigger he is - - from Beverly Hills. Classic Stern - enjoy it!
Submitted by ditquoi on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 8:07pm.
and in all fairness, his parents did name him Chester, they had to know he'd turn out to be a douche. Cats and cartoon villains are named Chester, not real people. :-P
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bahahaha that is so spot on.
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
and in all fairness, his parents did name him Chester, they had to know he'd turn out to be a douche. Cats and cartoon villains are named Chester, not real people. :-P
the tired old trick in bed looks like a Hooter Girl/Soccer Mom who over tans
dude could use some Proactiv.
Tom and Rita seem like such cool, down to earth people. But sometimes, the best of parents raise the douchiest of douchenozzles. You just never know.
Now, Tom's other son Colin is fiiiine. More nakey pics, please!
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
vapidlush there is still hope for us all yet. Smart people are by nature in 2012 shy...and that has to change. Dumb people feel tough..and THAT has to change.
bleh, he does not do it for me...arrogance combined with fake looking face and too much time in the gym with the name Chester (really Chester???) just does not make my loins moist. He is just a tool. Too bad his Dad rocks...but this one...trying to hard for the sexy...makes for a major sexy FAIL.
Exactly.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 2:24pm.
just what the world needs ... another attention-starved narcissist with a ticket on the Nepotism Express.
Warmjuice... thank you for that link... I think I may have to watch Idiocracy and drink heavily while weeping for my unborn children tonight. Again.
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
"Oh, this piece of Chet. So pretty, yet so douchey."
Yup. And his parents are both attractive, but he doesn't look at all like either of them, does he?
And the name Chet Haze is doofy.
I wonder if he has his paid piece titty fuck him with a dildo?
eye spy... a cougar in the background. She looks rough all blurry back there.
was he adopted?
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 4:59pm.
Address? ;P
I sniff them out, MI is small and only busy in the lower right corner so it’s not hard. I accept all applications of race though. But one thing is for sure, if they have Dunning Kruger /Tall Poppy it’s a huge turn off because it’s immature, and immaturity to me is not masculine at all.
He's hot and he knows it. What's wrong with that? In a world of phoneys, it's good to see someone being real and not hiding behind false modesty like the Brad Pitts of the world.
"but whenever I want to feel smarter I just go to Chet's Twitter page. It's as if Tom Hanks made Chet Haze while in character as Forrest Gump. Yes, Tom Hanks is so good at acting that he even cums in character."
bahahahaha
All hail Michael K!
Submitted by KA on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 5:54pm.
speaking of posing in a mirror: yeah we have women at work that do it because they just got shit done to themselves. but people at the gym kill me. it's one thing to watch yourself lift to make sure your form is tight, it's another when you stand there and admire yourself for 20 minutes. gross!
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There are guys at my gym who endlessly strut back and forth admiring themselves in the mirror - they do more walking around than they do working out, it seems to me.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
What a fug face asshole.
all i know about this guy is he's tom hanks son, and he is an incredibly self-absorbed douche.
that song i'm sexy and i know it makes me laugh my head off, because i picture douches like this taking it seriously and posing shirtless in a mirror while they listen to it.
speaking of posing in a mirror: yeah we have women at work that do it because they just got shit done to themselves. but people at the gym kill me. it's one thing to watch yourself lift to make sure your form is tight, it's another when you stand there and admire yourself for 20 minutes. gross!
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"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
First, he could get it. Secondly, no one should ever be willingly named Chester. Third, the fact that his name is Chester cancels out his hotness.
Oh, ok. It's Colin who looks more Tom Hanky. I didn't know Tom had more than one son!
Beverly Hills Shore
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Don't blame Tom Hanks for this mess. "Not to be rude or anything",but this kid is half-Greek, so this kind of behavior is genetic.
Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 4:49pm.
Cara - I was going to ask the exact same thing!
I did the same thing as MK 10 years ago. In my building all of the floors looked exactly the same and I guess I wasn't paying attention and followed the other person off for some reason. Luckily there wasn't a rapist living in the apartment I walked into.
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I did something similar years ago. My old apartment had two identical looking towers. I had a bad day and rushed home only to realize I had stepped into the wrong tower. I was half way up the lift before I realized my mistake. It's not every day that I have an emotional breakdown in an elevator....
(I'm glad you guys liked my quick 'n dirty picture. lol)
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Colin Hanks was on Mad Men? Oh yes he played a priest. Thought he did a great job on Dexter.