Snooki's Getting Married Too
If the sanctity of motherhood is going down, it's going to take whatever corroded pieces are left of the sanctity of marriage with it. That sound of two shotguns cocking (side note: That sounds kind of hot, but it's not in this case.) you just heard was from humanity putting the barrel up to its heart and from a shotgun practicing Snooki's wedding march. Because People says that not only is an Oompa Loompa fetus getting drunk in Snooki's pickled womb, but she's also engaged to her midget Hulk boyfriend Jionni LaValle. While I love the name Snooki LaValle since it sounds like the name of a John Waters character played by Pia Zadora, I cannot condone this mess. This is not going to end well FOR ALL OF US!
As the employees of New Jersey's Child Protective Services cheer this news because it means they'll all have jobs for the next 18 years, Snooki's ex-piece Emilio Masella tells TMZ that he hopes she has a miscarriage:
“I hope for her sake … not to be rude or anything … but I hope she has a miscarriage. When I was with her, she said she wanted twins. She would always say ‘Let’s have twins.’ I would def recommend her to get a paternity test to see who the father is because I’m sure there are other subjects. Vinny could easily be the father.”
Snooki shouldn't get her feelings hurt over that shit, because Emilio totally didn't mean to be rude or anything. We should all learn from this roid-damaged piece of douchewad shit. Whenever you're about to fist pump a trick in their emotional place by saying some truly fucked up shit, start off by saying "not to be rude or anything" and you won't hurt their feelings. Let's try it! Not to be rude or anything, Emilio, but I hope the earth miscarries you by spitting you out into the universe. See! It actually sounds nice. I should go back and add "not to be rude or anything" to every sentence I've ever written.
And here's the soon-to-be mother of every year, JWoww and their pieces shooting their reality show in Jersey City yesterday.
• 
SHE, of all people, should NOT be breeding.
and, she's already FAT-FAT-FATTTT!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Fuckery is what fuckery does.
What a disgusting piece of trash. Now look at those shoes.. they look like those clown shoes they sell at Halloween.
i am going to be nice and say that i hope having a child changes her for the better. she's a disgusting pig and no child deserves to have that as a parent.
-----------------------------------------
"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
Looks like Jwow's bf got a new head of hair. Plus why does Jwow have ducklips in every picture? Is her fake teeth or is her skin pulled back so much she can't smile right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
Please adopt before you visit a breeder: www.petfinder.com to find a pet in your area.
Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 6:56pm.
Amen. Having a kid out of wedlock really isn't a primo option. It's not the WORST, but it isn't great, especially if you don't have a supportive mate to help.
That said, I am 110% against shotgun weddings. You take a stressful situation, add societal pressure and misconceptions, and rush into something that should have counseling, thought and contemplation in order to work. And that's assuming you actually love your mate for real, and that you're not just fucking someone.
I don't mind as much if the people planned to get married anyway, and they just happen to get knocked up. But don't get married just because you have a kid. Get married because you actually love each other enough to make it for the long haul, kids or not.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I don't wish harm to an unborn baby. I also don't wish a Snooki on a baby either. Poor baby. I have CPS, DFS and the CDC on speed dial for the kid.
Even idiots have freedom of speech, and can express their opinions. If YOU don't like it, move to Iran or some other totally fucked up place and see how you like that shit.
My sympathies and hugs to anyone who has had a miscarriage, and that guy was a douche for saying that (even though I do NOT want any of the Jersey Shore douches to spawn).
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
The best thing she could do is get hit by a meteorite. In the head.
That said, she doesn't look very pregnant to me. Since she's shooting a new show, I wouldn't be surprised if this is all PR. JWoww is probably gonna have a fatal disease characterized by booze bloat next.
But if it isn't, I honestly wonder if she'd even keep the poor sprog. Once she had the publicity, that is.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 7:54pm.
It worked for Demi Moore. She got a little paunch, and the tabloids spun it out into a miracle pregnancy/tragic miscarriage/infertility sorrow drama. They should be writing for Lifetime.
I think they did it for Blandistan a few times as well.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
And to all of you who have had miscarriages:
My sister had four, and it was very painful for the entire family. My other sister had reproductive issues. So, for all of you out there who have lost babies, I am soooo sorry. I was merely commenting on who this piece of trash and waste of space and oxygen should NOT procreate. Some people just should NOT be parents, and this cretin is one of them---at least not until she's older, sober, and more in control of her life, and not just acting like a walking STD with a drinking problem.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 7:54pm.
Bitch is just getting chubby again and doesn't want to fuck up her weight loss endorsements by failing.
Step 1: Claim to be pregnant to justify weight gain
Step 2: Pay an ex to claim you've miscarried in the past so there is precident
Step 3: Claim to have had a miscarriage in a few months when obviously no baby ever shows up
Step 4: Sell the story of "my tragedy" to US Weekly
Why aren't I a publicist?!?!?!
^^^^^^^^^
Or a lawyer?? :P
I can't believe I'm even commenting on this slore, but I have never wished for a miscarriage as much as I am wishing for this. Trust.
I would never wish that shit on anyone but I hope this is just rumors and she really isn't pregnant or getting married. She is an immature, irresponsible, alcoholic, serial cheater and this union will not last.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 3:39pm.
If you think Chestica is fat...just wait.
-------------------------
Werd. I wonder how long before Jianni realizes what a heiffer he tied himself to and starts stepping out on her. Because that WILL happen.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 7:48pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 7:42pm.
If sociologists do a study in 20 years about these kids whose parents were on "Teen Mom" reality shows...I wonder how they'll turn out.
********
Odds are they'll be teen moms themselves.
____________________________________________
Yep, that's probably a given...I meant like more serious psychological problems, like alcoholism, anger management, and narcissism.
_______________________________________________
"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
Bitch is just getting chubby again and doesn't want to fuck up her weight loss endorsements by failing.
Step 1: Claim to be pregnant to justify weight gain
Step 2: Pay an ex to claim you've miscarried in the past so there is precident
Step 3: Claim to have had a miscarriage in a few months when obviously no baby ever shows up
Step 4: Sell the story of "my tragedy" to US Weekly
Why aren't I a publicist?!?!?!
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 7:42pm.
If sociologists do a study in 20 years about these kids whose parents were on "Teen Mom" reality shows...I wonder how they'll turn out.
********
Odds are they'll be teen moms themselves.
What bothers me most about this is the suspicion that Snooki knew her fifteen minutes were about up, and with a pregnancy and a marriage she can milk this fame thing for another few years as opposed to being relegated to an appearing on "Dancing with the Stars" and irrelevancy. Now she can get her own MTV show about motherhood and wacky dirty diaper escapades.
I don't know. I'm cynical, these people are the lowest scum on the planet and I don't trust them.
Shame on her ex...what a terrible thing to say. I hope the kid gets Snooki back along the straight and narrow, but to be honest, I really don't see that happening. She'll probably have a reality show leading up to her wedding day with Jionni and then another one about navigating parenthood, "Bethenny Getting Married" style.
If sociologists do a study in 20 years about these kids whose parents were on "Teen Mom" reality shows...I wonder how they'll turn out.
_______________________________________________
"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
Hood rats come to mind! Is that wrong? LOL!
♥---♥---♥
"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
I hope pregnancy doesn't make her all slovenly and round.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
I want to fuck her bf, face down, ass up.
This is why I never think having a child out of wedlock is a good idea. People are usually dating and then they get pregnant. Suddenly it occurs to them that they should get married to a person they are meh about, for the baby. Or that they should get married because they're so great together--but they're not sure they think that because they genuinely feel that and were on that course to engagement to begin with or because the idea of a little family is appealing. Whatever the case they get married, but the reasons are all muddled up in their head. So they leave the option open for divorce, which allows them to half try in their marriage.
Obviously this doesn't represent all shotgun marriages nor am I implying that all "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage" scenarios don't result in divorce either. But starting off with a forced hand, confusing situation is a bad way to start a marriage. I really think people need to date a long time, marry and be without children for some time, THEN once a strong foundation is set is when they should procreate.
This news was really rough for me since literally everyone on the planet except me is pregnant or has been since I started trying, most by oops accident LOLZ! (vomit), but even I would not go there. WTF is wrong with him?
But even though I do not wish her harm, please allow me to say THIS BITCH and her 20 margaritas a night. Meanwhile, I'm going to end up paying a small fortune to a naturopath who will probably tell me to eat nothing but sprouts for 3 months and it still won't work. FML.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
not to be rude or anything, but what the hell kind of GD shoes are those?!?!
What a disgusting thing to say. I have had a miscarriage and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am ALSO an ex-cokehead/borderline alcoholic whose unplanned pregnancy and subsequent daughter straightened my life put completely so I truly believe that everyone is capable of change and how a single young woman with zero responsibilities behaves is not indicative of potential to be a mother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
(with apologies to Bill Maher)
New Rule: If you are an adult who goes by a stoopit nickname, or a first name that is spelled incorrectly, you should not have children.
LOL at her bitter ex wishing for a miscarriage! OUCH.
TheSupremeHo, sorry to hear your predicament, I'll only suggest you see a Reproductive Endocrinologist at this point if you haven't.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
those fucktard boyfriends/baby daddy's are all types of klassy. Btw, remind me to NEVER EVER go to Joisy, cause the look, voice, and smell of the guidos and guidettes is nausea inducing. btw, having lost two fetuses on the last train to motherhood (which I gladly disembarked from) and now raise fur babies, you know I don't wish miscarriage on anyone, but I do wish growth and maturity, maybe the love she never seemed to get in life (hence the acting out) will be found in her baby. Baby's do save many women from self destruction, but some just keep destructing cause of self esteem/fear/insecurity issues, that cannot and will not be resolved by reproducing. A baby is not a magic pill to make life easier, quite the opposite ...but what do I know I am just a crazy half century old ho who prefers fur kids to flesh kids any day.
I think most of the people who watch these train wrecks love to see them get drunk and fight and hook-up with whoever. Maybe this new show will be very boring with them looking at baby stuff that they will finally go the fuck away!
To clarify a few things -
Yes, I do have issues with anger when it comes to the utter lack of fairness in life. I work on it in therapy, and it's part of why I don't yet have children (also I didn't YELL at my husband, I used my indoor voice). The other part is not being emotionally ready to handle that kind of stress again. I'm still in the "anger phase" of the grief process, and if that offends then I'm sorry. Having so much taken from you and enduring trauma will fuck you up, and I'm in that category and willing to admit it. Like I said I'm prepared to take shit for having that moment of weakness and frustration, because a pregnant woman living the way Snooki does can/will cause severe birth defects. I don't see how a special needs child would flourish with those parents - but that opinion is based on how she presents herself to the public. I hope those of you who say she could surprise everyone and be a great mother are right, because no matter what my gut reaction was no child chooses their parents. At the end of the day what upsets me is the idea that the kid will suffer a great deal, not that she's succeeded where I've failed. Was my reaction/comment insensitive and wrong? Yes. But I can freely admit it and wish that it was different while continuing to work through my own shit.
How will she pass the test to get the wedding license?
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 5:09pm.
What if she turns out to be a good mom? It does happen. *see: Nicole Richie*
**********
There's no proof Nicole is a good mom. She may have just chosen to do her drugs at home.
By the looks of them shoes she is attending
Clown School.
I think it's kind of pointless for them to get married at this stage. They've already had make-ups/breakups on the show where he ditched her in Italy and she ended up screwing Vinny. They should focus on the baby, if she decides to keep it, and yet also work on their relationship. Rushing into marriage isn't the best decision right now.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
What if she turns out to be a good mom? It does happen. *see: Nicole Richie*
SupremeHo, after experiencing it for yourself, how can you wish it on someone else?
********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
That's sick. Your supposed to wish the kid will be ugly, not a miscarriage.
Won't a pregnancy interfere with her heavy drinking?
@SupremeHo, maybe it's best that you don't get pregnant until you've resolved your anger issues. Until you're in a place where the success of someone else (whom you don't even know personally) doesn't anger you to the point of yelling at your husband, maybe you work on finding your own peace.
visit my rant on Chester Hanks.
Rinse and repeat.
Its not plastic surgery , its a medical condition!!
SupremeHo, I was fully prepared to judge you, and then I remembered when I wasn't getting pregnant and suffered miscarriages and was told I wasn't pregnant when I was and how painful that was and I decided not to judge.
All I can say is it's best for you, emotionally, spiritually, and karmically, to not be bitter like that and not wish people ill even though they APPEAR to have what you want.
because remember, she just got through the first hurdle. you don't know what's in store for her in terms of the pregnancy and after. nor do you know what's in store for you. you are only 23.
Hmmm, really? Not to be rude or anything... but why are all these people on TV? And that Emilio guy is harsh, even for Snooks, Yikes! ;D
♥---♥---♥
"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
Who wishes a MISCARRIAGE on another human being?!?! I can't believe I just read that.
*******************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
fuck me running JWoww's boyfriend looks like the kind of douche who crushes beer cans on his head after he guzzles them *burrrrrrrrp*
Alright I'm completely prepared to take a lot of shit for this comment but: I said the same thing when I heard she was knocked up. I have had FIVE miscarriages (I'm only 23 btw) and in the land of fighting infertility with someone who is already my husband (and a human being, and straight) - and yet people like Snooki get pregnant at the drop of a fucking hat by accident. She's an alcoholic who barely speaks coherent english when sober, and makes a living as a drunk whore with a boyfriend...yet she gets to be a mother. So yes, in my fury I turned to my husband and said "Christ, she can't stop drinking for ONE NIGHT, there's no way that baby makes it, and that's for the best. For the sake of humanity."
That and I'm now willing to believe 2012 is the end of days.
kerrymegan - I'm so sorry. There's very little one can say when this happens but I really do feel for you. It's not fair, and just because it's common doesn't mean it's not agonizing. I hope somehow you can bear what you see in the media in the months to come. I wish all the best to you. xxx
I don't know... Something is telling me that she might actually surprise everyone and turn into a really good mother. It would be in her best interest, since she could reality-show the hell out of that situation. She's probably had a miscarriage or at least one abortion in the past, so her choice to keep this one shows she's maturing. (Disclaimer: this scenario is only applicable if she does carry the baby to term).
wow MK didn't realize you were so Snooki Sensative, I'll know what to send you for X-Mas this year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by guest on Mon, 03/ 05/2012 -4:03pm.
*will watch the wedding*
_______________________
Me too, and I averted my eyes from all things Kardashian Wedding Whorefest but I don't think I could resist this guido mess.
Submitted by Rosemary Young on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 4:15pm.
<3 to KerryMegan. Yes, it's hard to see other people being happy when they don't seem to deserve it. Your day will come.
------------------
Thanks. I'm actually an *old* married thirty-something with a toddler. My hard-core partying days were so 10yrs ago, and so it just pains me to be dealt a blow after doing everything right & planning for #2 (taking vitamins, stopped drinking wine, ate extra spinach for folic acid) & then read about all of these retards having kids. Uma Thurman, that's cool. Nick Lachay...eh okay. Kristin Cavellalri...slightly annoying. Snooki...okay, where's my fucking tylenol w/ codein.