This Bitch Is Talking Again: The Mike Seaver Edition

March 3, 2012 / Posted by:

As part of Has-Been Week on Piers Morgan’s CNN show last night, he talked to Dr. Seaver’s son turned evangelical crazy Kirk Cameron about all sorts of shit including gay marriage and homosexuality in general. If you’re thinking that putting your ear up to a dog’s asshole right before it farts would fill you with more interesting shit than what came out of Kirk’s mouth, you’re right! But if you still want know what came out of Kirk’s pie hole and don’t have the stomach to watch him in motion, here you go:

Kirk on same sex marriage: “Marriage was defined by God a long time ago. Marriage is almost as old as dirt and it was defined in the garden between Adam and Eve. One man, one woman for life till death do you part. So I would never attempt to try to redefine marriage and I don’t think anyone else should either. So do I support the idea of gay marriage? No, I don’t.”

Kirk on if he thinks being gay is a sin: “It’s unnatural… I think that it’s detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”

Kirk thinking that marriage is only meant for a man and a beautiful lady he carved out of his own rib bone is his opinion. Kirk also thinking that me sucking on man taint is ruining society just like his mouth has ruined whatever is left of his joke of acting career is his opinion. Those are his opinions and he’s entitled to them. Just like I’m entitled to my opinion that without gays and lesbians, the world would be a sad, bland place without glitter, flannel, sprinkles, Home Depot and RuPaul’s Drag Race. It’s also my opinion that the shit that spews out of Kirk’s mouth hole is the reason why nobody wants to come to his foot-long party!

When are we going to get to the part when some Craigslist hustler is on the cover of The National Enquirer talking about how he gave Kirk Cameron a real growing pain. That moment is inevitable and I, for one, can’t wait.

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