ScarJo Will Play Janet Leigh

I knew there was a good reason for not trusting that shifty My Week With Marilyn movie and this is the reason why. Variety says that director Sacha Gervasi has cast ScarJo to play Jamie Lee Curtis’ mom in a movie about the making of the movie Psycho. Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho was probably inspired by My Week With Marilyn (it was) and it will also star Anthony Hopkins as Hitchcock, Helen Mirren as Hitchock’s wife and James D’Arcy as Anthony Perkins. Oh, and again, ScarJo is playing Janet Leigh. I had to remind you of this in case you forgot, because you stabbed yourself in the eye with a kitchen knife after reading it the first time. Don’t worry about that eye. You’re going to look so much hotter with an eye patch.

This mess of a movie is going to be about all the problems Hitchcock had making Psycho. I’m sure the silver lining in this for some of you is watching ScarJo slowly bleed out chocolate syrup to death in a cold shower, but I say Hollywood needs to leave Psycho alone. It’s been through enough. It’s still raw from getting butchered in that shitrocious remake starring God’s daughter Anne Heche. Let a bitch breathe for you punch it again.

I guess movies about the making of movies is now a thing and it’ll be a thing again in 50 years when a waterlogged piece of cardboard with two dough balls pasted to it plays ScarJo in a movie about the making of the making of Psycho.