Lindsay Lohan’s ongoing desperation tour through every show on NBC made a stop on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night and she told Jimmy that she got the SNL job by doing what her mommy taught her (no, not that, the other thing): beg beg beg a bitch until his only options are to give in or FedEx himself to North Korea to escape the begging. LiLo said that she called Lorne before cornering him in L.A. and since he was so tired of her Howdy Doody cheeks invading his nightmares and her threats of handjobs, he threw the crackie a bone.
Jimmy: How did it happen? Did Lorne call you or…
LiLo: Um. No, actually I was calling Lorne.
Jimmy: You called Lorne?
LiLo: Yeah, I was calling Lorne and I kept asking him, and not harassing him, but I wasn’t giving up.
Jimmy: You were just like saying, “Can I host? Can I host?”
LiLo: Yeah, I was like, “Can I host? Can I host? Can we do something together?” And he was in L.A., and you know Lorne, he’s very straight to the point and he’s like, “What about March 3rd? Can you do March 3rd?” And I was like, “Oh yeah, I’m free. I’ll make myself free.” Because it’s so much fun there.
We can sit here and laugh at the 55-year-old wig full of freckles and greasy desperation for being so devoted to the gospel according to pathetic, but guess who got the job, bitch?! If you were dignity-free and spent the early morning hours calling Lorne at home in between snorting lines of White Diamonds to get closer to Elizabeth Taylor, you too would be reading cue cards on SNL this weekend!
And here’s Lindsay of Crackrabia leaving her hotel yesterday afternoon.