At The Lorax premiere (the fucking Lorax premiere) a couple of weeks ago, the most beautiful boy fairy in Hollywood, Zac Efron, went “one, two, three, drop condom, five, six, seven, look shocked, nine, ten, eleven, smile at all the dumbasses thinking I actually fuck.” It was about as staged as Lindsay Lohan accidentally dropping an AA chip in front of the paps. Scratch that. That’s not possible, because I don’t think they sell AA chips at the Chateau Marmont gift shop. But they should! Anyway, back to Zac.
Zac was on Today this morning to talk about that Lorax mess and Matt Lauer asked about him the condom thing. Matt blushed, Zac blushed and I wondered what happened to journalism. I mean, Matt just brought it up, giggled and moved on. I know Matt is probably in on it, but he could’ve snuck in at least one follow-up question. Why does Zac think anyone would believe he uses big dick condoms when we all know that he is a Ken doll brought to life by Disney and has no pokin’ parts down there. Whatever, I’ll lay off of Matt. Being the balding slut bag that he is, I’m sure he was too hypnotized by Zac Efron’s Maybelline beauty. You know how Matt gets while in the presence of stunningly gorgeous women.