Lindsay Lohan Will Be At The Oscars In Five Years
Nowadays, the only Oscars Lindsay Lohan will be invited to is the duplex apartment of her dealer Oscar Garcia who wants her to come by to test taste a new kind of liquid coke that can easily pass for lemon lime Gatorade. However, LiLo's hoping that around this time in 2017 she'll be a guest at the other Oscars. LiLo's routine "I IZ SOBERZ THIS TIME, GIVE ME A JOB" interview aired this morning and I've already covered most of the shit that slipped out between her pool noodle lips, but she was also asked about Whitney Houston's death (*crickets*) and said that she hopes in fives years she'll be at the Oscars. Obviously, LiLo still has charred ass lips from not being nominated for her whore de force performance in I Know Who Killed Me. Below is a piece of LiLo's interview this morning (the bright shiny gem of delusion is at the 3:18 mark):
What LiLo should've said is that in five years she hopes she has surgically removed her leech of a mother from her ass, has a fresh new wig on her head that doesn't look like a Sally's Beauty Supply special and has animatronic cheeks that can move by themselves. Ho is so obsessed with the Oscars. Who does she think she is? Sean Young? Bitch wishes. Sean Young wouldn't have half-assed the delusion either. She would've come to the interview wearing a Faviana original and carrying a fake Oscar trophy from Party City. There can only be one Sean Young, LiLo, so stop trying.
And why is she blaming her past love relationships on most of her fuck ups? Unless the names of her past lovers are Rock Crackson and Cokie Cokesters, she has nobody to blame but herself....and her pieces of shit parents.....and her plastic surgeon....and that wig.
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Cokey says what?????
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Submitted by 8cocksacrowing on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:27pm.
i don't understand why she would want to emulate susan from eight is enough (after she was abducted by aliens, participated in a drug fueled orgy and had a breakdown) it wasn't a good look for the original and it's not a good look for the lohan
hahaha! yes you're right it does look an awful lot like her
http://www.eightisenough.com/pix26/08pix007asff05.jpg
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:17pm.
We must be neighbors (east 80s'?) I've seen him a few times, too. Me no likey. But I've seen Walt "Clyde The Glide" Frazier and he's a smiley happy dude. Makes my day when I see him.
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Yup, neighbors! I'm on 83rd. I'ma cross the street next I see him. As for Walt, I will keep my eyeballs peeled.
How does a 25-year-old woman have jowls?
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
i don't understand why she would want to emulate susan from eight is enough (after she was abducted by aliens, participated in a drug fueled orgy and had a breakdown) it wasn't a good look for the original and it's not a good look for the lohan
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:09pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:02pm.
Farrah's son has money??? I thought he was a junkie, too. And how sad is that, that her 50-year-old ass is getting help from the 20-something sibling who is probably about the same age as her own kids?
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yeah she left him a small fortune.
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/03/tatum-o-neal-rehab-brother...
Submitted by Naughychimp on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:13pm.
In breaking (and totally unrelated) news, Steve Martin DID backtrack on his Goop I hate my life comment:
"Any website who thinks my tweet about Gwyneth was a dig at her is officially humorless."
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He's had the Goop koolaid, aka the Goop cleanse. I'll go back to not giving a flying fuck about Steve Martin now.
Submitted by squiggles: "I've seen Al around the neighborhood and he once majorly scowled at me when I was leaving Staples and he felt obligated to hold the door before he came in, LOL. I've heard some stories about his not so niceness since then. He will verbally cut a bitch!"
We must be neighbors (east 80s'?) I've seen him a few times, too. Me no likey. But I've seen Walt "Clyde The Glide" Frazier and he's a smiley happy dude. Makes my day when I see him.
when you get sober, you get brutally honest and completely self-aware (almost to a fault). this bitch is neither.
i'm pretty disappointed that lorne is allowing snl to exploit an addict for ratings. esp considering everything he should know by now.
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watching hardcore ufos
In breaking (and totally unrelated) news, Steve Martin DID backtrack on his Goop I hate my life comment:
"Any website who thinks my tweet about Gwyneth was a dig at her is officially humorless."
This delusional ho is the very definition of a GRIFTER. Give us your "clean date" if you're so sober. Even Alec Baldwin has a clean date when he gave up sugar upon being told he was pre-diabetic ffs!
The Chateau is where people go to DIE! One of our clients has a daughter who was a beach condo neighbor of Lindsay's. She'd give amusing up dates on her FB about sightings and goings on, so I'm told.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:02pm.
Farrah's son has money??? I thought he was a junkie, too. And how sad is that, that her 50-year-old ass is getting help from the 20-something sibling who is probably about the same age as her own kids?
The Chateau can be fun, and some of the bungalows are nice. It is VERY retro. You mostly have to appreciate the history of the joint to enjoy staying there. I do not recommend the regular rooms though. They are musty and dated, but if you are into star watching, and ping pong, it's the place to hang.
b back guys!
Never thought I'd say this, but Matty should have been more like Al - remember when he was forced to interview Heidi & Spencer? He couldn't even hide his disgust and disdain. It was awesome.
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I've seen Al around the neighborhood and he once majorly scowled at me when I was leaving Staples and he felt obligated to hold the door before he came in, LOL. I've heard some stories about his not so niceness since then. He will verbally cut a bitch!
She looks like an unkempt 40 year old.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by Suckerpunch on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:01pm.
Escort, yes. High class, no.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:50pm.
She is the Queen of Fucking Delusion. She peaked as a child actor, and there's a big difference between a talented child actor and a talented adult actor. After all, Anna Paquin and Tatum O'Neal won Oscars as children
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speaking of Tatum -- she's back in rehab and Farrah's son is paying for it because she broke.
@not impressed...YIKES!!!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She is a high class escort ... Wait that's not possible . I. Can almost promise you she is part of a ring that caters to businessmen and wealthy guys.
That explains her hooker look and how she is able to still have some pocket money .
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:54pm
Watch spooky stuff on Youtube and Chateau was there but not as bad as NY Chelsea hotel brrrrrrr.
GG and IF are making mah no-no tingle!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:51pm.
Oh, and can we talk about her outfit? What the hell was that? V-neck cut down to her navel and stripper shoes with her blotchy crack legs and ashy knees? It's DAYTIME TV.
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Exactly!! She looks more like a Flavor of Love reality TV show whore here, than an future Oscar winning actress.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
rukiddingme: I hope that bastard gets a beat down in jail! 1st step to serial killer-ville is animal abuse.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:36pm.
I was recently at the Chateau the night of the Grammy's. That place is dark, dank, and creepy (I totally believe it's haunted). On top of all that, my friend and I had a gun pulled out on us outside of the hotel bar. We ran back inside and the staff was very, very kind. They made sure we were calm and comfortable. We ended up having to give a couple statements to the cops, which wasn't fun. Anyway, that was my first (AND LAST) time at the Chateau Marmont.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:47pm.
That's what I was saying yesterday. Anyone who has been through rehab or in AA and is sober remembers TO THE DAY how long they've been sober. They don't stutter trying to make something up and then settle for "a long time".
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Doesn't have to be through AA, NA or rehab, when you get clean, however you do it, you remember the date, to the fucking hour.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:52pm.
So guys, she really did land the Elizabeth Taylor role? I thought she was b.s.ing!
Cannot wait. I wanna hear her Brit accent. Stinking Limeys >:(
God she does look like Elizabeth Taylor: the white-haired, wheelchair-bound, bloated, half-dead one.
IT'S ASSHOLES ON PARADE HERE AGAIN!!!!!!!
Dog: Right? "I'm 72 days sober and here's my 60-day chip." Yeah, I know someone had made that point yesterday.
She's a liar.
So guys, she really did land the Elizabeth Taylor role? I thought she was b.s.ing!
Oh, and can we talk about her outfit? What the hell was that? V-neck cut down to her navel and stripper shoes with her blotchy crack legs and ashy knees? It's DAYTIME TV.
If you're trying to show people that you're a serious actress ready to work, you wear a crisp button-down with nicely pleated dress pants. Or a dress with a more demure neckline and a hem that covers more than half of your thighs.
Even if SHE doesn't know any better, someone from her new "team" should be clued in to what's appropriate for an interview with Matt Lauer on daytime TV. It's not a nightclub.
IF, we can share!
She is the Queen of Fucking Delusion. She peaked as a child actor, and there's a big difference between a talented child actor and a talented adult actor. After all, Anna Paquin and Tatum O'Neal won Oscars as children, FFS, yet that didn't put them on track for Oscar-type roles as adults, did it?
Hillary Duff will win an Oscar before Blohan does.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:47pm.
That's what I was saying yesterday. Anyone who has been through rehab or in AA and is sober remembers TO THE DAY how long they've been sober. They don't stutter trying to make something up and then settle for "a long time".
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
@Whamo,
"Yes you women DO take a lot of time don't you! lol:)"
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Yeah, every precocious ejaculator's poor excuse for not knowing how to work a simple button! Add smirk here.
Submitted by greeneggs on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:45pm.
Thank you!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by guest on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:31pm.
Oh yeah! He was so rude to them! Lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by cripbabe: "every rehabbed sober person I've ever known is able to pinpoint exactly how long they've been that way... and seriously, with that smokers rasp, unless she's lined up to do the "Suzanne Pleshette Story"..."
Good point.
And LOL at "Suzanne Pleshette Story"!
who says crack doesn't make you delusional ?
they should use her for lab experiments.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:46pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:38pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:32pm.
What a queef machine.
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*declares undying love for Dog*
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Aw!
*bats doglashes*
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Back off GG!
Dog is my newest piece! (I've gone Lez!)
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Well, that was unexpected! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!
ETA: You might want to check with Andrei about this.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:38pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:37pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:32pm.
What a queef machine.
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*declares undying love for Dog*
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Aw!
*bats doglashes*
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Back off GG!
Dog is my newest piece! (I've gone Lez!)
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:36pm.
From the pics I've seen of the room in that place, the Chateau is a damn toilet. I don't care how historic it is. It's a total dump.
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I remember going there years ago because some out of town executives that worked for our company were staying there. I remember thinking--this is it? I seem to remember it being damp and dark and sorta stinky.
I couldn't agree more--it is a dump.
Did anyone see where she says that she basically harassed Lorne Michaels into giving her the guest spot?
And she's hosted four times? Really? I watch SNL pretty regularly because I have no life, and I can only remember once - when she did the Harry Potter sketch with her funbags out.
Why are people still trying to make this trick happen? She is NOT a good actress, she looks HORRID, and she is a lying skank. Why is she given chance upon chance, and treated with kid gloves by people (YES, I am looking at you Matt Lauer), and never held accountable for her actions?
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 2:33pm.
If she were male, Hollywood is much more forgivable and it would maybe have a shed of truth
. But you chose the biz girl and they chew and spit aging actresses out like you daily. There's prettier and younger who already have nominations and wins. Aniston got a slap of reality this past opening day weekend (she's probably "Where did those TV sit com scripts I threw out go?!") and I predict Blohan is going to eventually "Casino" Ginger it down a motel hallway (MK knows).
That was sad. Banging bikers in ratholes and ODing. Yes, thats her future.
every rehabbed sober person I've ever known is able to pinpoint exactly how long they've been that way, but this twat totally evaded that question, so my guess is she ain't or hasn't been very long.
and seriously, with that smokers rasp, unless she's lined up to do the "Suzanne Pleshette Story", her so-called "career" lies in crappy TV movies, an occasional guest shot on the small screen and low budgies that'll go directly into the dust bin at Odd Lot.
Hopefully, you'll have to change your tune after Miss Lohan triumphs on the unforgiving stage of live national broadcast TV. An Oscar is a maybe, but I definitely see a loving and committed union with a certain charming young NFL quarterback who will very soon be in need of a wife who is not aware of being married.
I have no doubt that I am entirely alone here but uh, I would be ok if we never saw another story about her again. OR at least if we could cut it down to say 10 a day. She's like a fart joke we keep trying to re-tell.
Coming from that family, she never had a chance. I don't have much sympathy for her, though I do want to make her take a bath and feed her a decent meal. Maybe there is a human being in there...maybe not.