Jennifer Aniston Don't Need No Babeh!
One of the longest running jokes (besides me somehow making a full-time living off of blogging for the past 5 years) is that Jennifer Aniston keeps a delivery gown in her closet and every Thursday afternoon she goes to the nursery of a local hospital to coo and aww at one of the newborns like she's its mother. What I'm saying is that Jennifer Aniston has long been painted as a pathetic and chronic baby-wanter, but she tells CBS This Morning (via SS) that everybody but her is obsessed with what is happening in her womb. Jennifer says that she doesn't need to take a whiff of diarrhea fumes from her newborn kid to feel satisfied:
“That doesn’t measure the level of my happiness or my success in my life, in my achievements, in any of that. I feel like I’m 30. I honestly didn’t start to feel my best until was in my 30s. Physically, I started eating better and taking better care of my body, in terms of being physical and exercise.”
Jennifer Aniston couldn't be more right. Babies don't equal happiness. What really equals happiness is a backyard pool full of Grey Goose (which Aniston has), a supple coat of many leathers (which Aniston has, it's called her skin) and zillions of dollars from playing herself in shit movie after shit movie. But the best thing Aniston has is a nursery full of Cabbage Patch Doll. CPDs are better than real babies, because they stay small forever, have yarn for hair, can't shit and you don't have to worry about them growing up and pulling a Tyler Hadley on your ass in the middle of the night. Aniston truly has it all! And if you still don't believe me, here's a glimpse into Aniston and Justin Theroux's future:
Jealous?
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Submitted by Deb on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:24pm.
Real nice coming from someone who drinks out of toilets...;)
Seriously, there are far worse vices than smoking and coffee drinking.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh now, was that nice?
We're not talking serious, we're talking healthy.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
*stabs aching ovaries*
Having children is a personal choice. Having them or not having them, neither is superior to the other.
Can a Fleshlight get pregnant?
I started watching that cabbage patch video thinking that it would be a bit weird. But I thought it would be actual KIDS with their cabbage pack dolls, not losers who have given up on Clay Aiken.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:00pm.
Physically, I started eating better and taking better care of my body, in terms of being physical and exercise.
I guess the chain-smoking and continuous coffee-drinking are healthy. Physically.
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Real nice coming from someone who drinks out of toilets...;)
Seriously, there are far worse vices than smoking and coffee drinking.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:21pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:10pm.
Guess you have no idea what goes on at Star Trek conventions or what shows up to them.
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I've seen those and can understand that to a degree but that guy talking to his doll and moving it's while doing it. The lady saying "my (whatever the dolls name is) has never been on the swings before"
These are fully grown people and you must have SOME sort of issues to act like that no?
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Oh Whamsie!
You know you have some real dolls and "real babies" and several realistic blow up dolls (Irish ones) at home. I bet your nights and weekends are very....sexy.
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Dark-sided!
What's really scary is there are more people than that weird couple with their cabbage patch kids.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:13pm.
(I'm superior because I'm Irish and fabulous)
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Hi?? :) :( :0 :P?
Not for one second do I regret not having had children.
and I'm 45 and packin ovaries. go on vacation for weeks at a time whenever I like. money in the bank to spare. no sitting up nights waiting for the monsters to get home from their dates or whatever. and not one gray hair yet. selfish? probably. regrets? nope. children do not guarantee fulfillment or happiness. I only have to look at my own siblings and parents to see that.
besides. there are enough people in the world now without my adding to it.
Team Joyfully Childless.
Jennifer Aniston couldn't be more right. Babies don't equal happiness.
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AMEN. If I had children, I KNOW I would be miserable. I raised my little sister into a responsible, thoughful adult after our mom died and that was enough!
LOL @ Irish & El Bastardaro's comments.
(Spanish/Irish here so I get a double "WOOP-WOOP" for fabulous) :-P
I had this in brunette
http://www.ioffer.com/i/cabbage-patch-kids-bath-time-1983-b1-84078656
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:21pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:10pm.
Guess you have no idea what goes on at Star Trek conventions or what shows up to them.
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I've seen those and can understand that to a degree but that guy talking to his doll and moving it's while doing it. The lady saying "my (whatever the dolls name is) has never been on the swings before"
These are fully grown people and you must have SOME sort of issues to act like that no?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*puts stuffed animals back in closet*
What?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:10pm.
Guess you have no idea what goes on at Star Trek conventions or what shows up to them.
============================================
I've seen those and can understand that to a degree but that guy talking to his doll and moving it's while doing it. The lady saying "my (whatever the dolls name is) has never been on the swings before"
These are fully grown people and you must have SOME sort of issues to act like that no?
Sometimes I envy childless people, too. I love my kids but to be honest, I'll probably hate yours. I've never been a natural with kids and am carefully molding my own to be tolerable human beings who are of minimal annoyance and are willing to entertain me. If someone doesn't want them for any reason- especially someone who at the very least doesn't have financial issues in the way- then who cares?
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
I've got two kids, and I love them, know that this motherhood is the way I want to spend my adult life, blah, blah, etc. etc.
BUT, I really believe that society's "default" settings should be set to childless, rather than parenthood. We no longer need to worry about populating the planet, fer Christ's sake.
Then, if people wanted to override their default setting, and become parents after much thought and consideration, we would all be better as a society. In other words, JA and people like her should have nothing to explain.
I really hate people who harass childless adults for their choices. On behalf of all breeders, I apologize.
Ta Joanne :)
Angie has kids and Jen has good hair. Equals.
Submitted by waterbucket on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:07pm.
God, she must be sick of being asked about Brad Pitt and not having kids. I'm sick of hearing about it.
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AMEN.
Aniston has now been divorced from Pitt longer than she was married to him.
I for one, would love her so-called sad, lonely life. She's gorgeous, rich, talented, and has good friends.
She was wonderfully wicked in "Horrible Bosses", which was an extremely successful black comedy.
"Marley & Me" was successful too.
"Along Came Polly" was funny and did very well.
Why do people insist that all her films are bombs?
And as John Cleese insisted in the "Eric the Half-a-Bee" sketch, "I am NOT a loonie!!!"
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
How many times a great opportunity comes up and you have to
say, sorry, I have kids to raise.
BAWK that is for you El Bastardo. ;)
Who gives a fucking fuck?
Yes, Jack, this is true!
Have vadge, will rule.
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Dark-sided!
I'll say it again. Having babies is gay. FACT.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:13pm.
and have vagina... THAT's what makes you superior.
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
not. clicking.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Frankly, there are many times a day when I envy the childless women I know.
*watches video*
*jaw drops* *blank stare*
She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. I don't see anything scandalous or offensive in that comment.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Good on Jen.
She has a wonderful life, has great friends and by all accounts is a great friend to others. She has no spite, even though the end of her marriage must have been so humiliating and she enjoys great health (minus the smoking!).
She is living life on her terms and not becoming mainstream-having-babies-appearing-on-In-Shape-3-weeks-later and then fobbing a kid off on a slew of nannies.
She knows what she wants. Personally, I do think she will have a baby within a year but if she doesn't and never has, then good for her too. Having kids doesn't make one a better person or above another.
I am not superior to anyone because I am a mother.
(I'm superior because I'm Irish and fabulous)
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 3:06pm.
WOW I mean just plain WOW! How fucking fucked up are these people, Seriously, what the fuck happens in your life to get to the point where you're doing THIS!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Guess you have no idea what goes on at Star Trek conventions or what shows up to them.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I had Tommy the bath one completely plastic one because I loved taking baths :) he disappeared, and my mom started buying me freaking CPD as an adult!!! no I missed the one I had as a child not some random one
and go Jen not everyone wants to have children or collect them as accessories
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
I love seeing all the Brangiloonies in that video. Hahahahaha WTF, man?!! LOOOOOOOOONS
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
God, she must be sick of being asked about Brad Pitt and not having kids. I'm sick of hearing about it.
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The man's as gay as a picnic basket.
Oh she's so Goopy with that talk. Whatever happening to her at the moment is so empowering for all women. Her film opened in 8th place last weekend which sort of ensures it will be gone from theaters by the next.
JenniferWWangelinakissassYEG
ohmygodlookatherhairF97
W4anistonW874herskinisaa
amaaazingTGjolieloverRCV
babiesZYRsheseemstobeinareallygoodplaceGV
friendsHRFVCJustinO4RhatersCSbabyRIGFCAngelinayouknowIreallydontfeelthatgoodaboutmysel andhavenothingtotakeprideinandwheIseepeoplemaking funofJenniferanistonitreallyhurts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj_jm2J6DWc MMMKKKKK LEAVE JENNIFER ALLOOOOOOOOOOOONE
WOW I mean just plain WOW! How fucking fucked up are these people, Seriously, what the fuck happens in your life to get to the point where you're doing THIS!!!
And she's right, even when a few will come and say she's an old womb-empty spinster or that she's sooo selfish for being more interested in taking care of her body. At the end of the day, SHE IS the happy chick with the life she wants. She doesn't NEED a baby to fulfill her role as a woman and she's not ready for it.
I have a special kind of respect for those women who follow their wishes of NOT having kids instead of following the "rules" and breeding and feeling miserable afterwards because that's NOT what they wanted in life. Childless women get so much pressure to breed, it's fucking ridiculous. I think misery likes company, specially for women who ARE miserable with the life they are living and of course, want others to feel the wrath of their fury. Remember folks, not everyone is made to breed responsibly.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
She doesn't bother me, and ITA, kids are not the be all, end all of happiness.
El Bits,
I appreciate EVERYTHING you do, but not in a stalkerish, Cabbage Patch doll under the bed kind of way.
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
I'm no looney, but I like JA.
WOOF @ those Cabbage Patch freaks. I hate that reality TV (and the internetz) exposes my brain to fetishes and creepy shit that I could happily go through life without seeing or knowing about.
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Douchechill!
I don't have kids - don't plan on having any - Love my niece and nephew - just never had the desire or longing.
And I'm happy dammit - I'm happppppppppppppppppy!
Ta Vern :) Glad someone appreciates my endeavours!
Physically, I started eating better and taking better care of my body, in terms of being physical and exercise.
I guess the chain-smoking and continuous coffee-drinking are healthy. Physically.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I agree she looked better in her 30s than in her 20s. I envy that bitch's body.
Beeeaattchhh.
LOL El Bits!
Thanks for cracking me up-this post skeers me!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Good on Jen.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
They must all have sex together after playing with their cabbage patch dolls. That's just too creepy to be real.
*has CPD envy*
I miss my World Traveler CPD doll!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Okay, I'll admit that I LOOOOOVE those shows about the baby doll people and the RealDoll people. They are fascinating. Warped but fascinating.
And I'm GLAD they have their little dolly subsitutes, because then the humans (and animals) in the vicinity are safe.
These people are freaks and total losers!
Oh here we go.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! BAWKETY BAWK BAWK BAWKEROONEY!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org