Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 1, 2012 / Posted by:

Hank, the cat who has hacked up a hairball into the ring for the Virginia Senate seat! Hank is 9-years-old, can lick his own asshole, will bring you a gift of a mouse head he found in the garden, is box-trained, has the common courtesy to sleep with his eyes open instead of closed while people are talking (a priceless skill for Senate meetings), won’t disagree with you when you call him a pussy and was born with the inability to produce a fuck, so he’s already much more qualified for politics than his competitors George Allen (R) and Tim Kane (D). Hank is running as an Independent and has released this statement directly from his office in the bathroom sink:

From the very first day, Hank has been a fighter. Born to a single mother living on the streets, Hank, his mother, and his siblings were taken to an animal shelter and sat on death row. Shortly before their execution, Hank and the rest of his family were saved by an animal rescue group called Animal Allies. Hank was adopted to a loving family, and was raised by his adopted brother Sammy.

Being from the streets and having nothing, Hank learned the value of hard work. Putting himself through school while working, Hank was simply too stubborn and driven to let his disadvantages dictate his future. After graduating with honors, Hank quickly entered the business world and brought himself up to start and run a number of successful local companies.

Hank’s story and dedication have inspired all who know him, and he realized that his ideas and unique life experiences could help his community, his state, and his country. After much encouragement, Hank decided to enter the race for US Senate.

If that doesn’t convince you non-Virginians to move to Virginia just so you can drop one in the box for Hank, then this video will. (Note: Don’t let that freeze frame fool your ass. Hank’s campaign video isn’t a reenactment of the Full House opening. But this definitely needs more Kimmy Gibbler.)

Meow, we can! And nobody tell George Allen and Tim Kane that they can make Hank freeze up during debates by tying a sock around his body.

via MSNBC

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