The Photoshop Awards: Patti Stanger’s Sensa Ad

February 29, 2012 / Posted by:

re·al·i·ty [ree-al-i-tee]
1. the state or quality of being real.
2. resemblance to what is real.
3. something the hos at Sensa need to find a way to turn into crystal form so they can shove it down their mouth holes in ladle fulls, because this is some shit.

This Sensa ad from Star Magazine as scanned by Jezebel is supposed to be that crazy hamster-looking bitch Patti Stanger aka The Millionaire Matchmaker showing off her AMAZING new body. This isn’t Patti Stanger’s body. This isn’t a human’s body. This is the body of a knock-off Bratz doll at the 99 Cent store that nobody buys. For three seconds there, I thought this was an action figure based on one of those Shahs of Sunset tricks.

Sensa is supposed to stop your will to eat delicious food when you sprinkle it on your nightly dinner of a deep fried Philly cheesesteak. But if whoever put this ad together uses it, then it obviously stops your brain’s will to think. The makers of Sensa need some sensa knocked into them. Who at Sensa thought this ad looked like anything but shameless fuckery? This is some Promise of a New Day shit.

You don’t even need to buy Sensa to lose some chunk. The next time you get the urge to swallow a cheeseburger whole, just look at this ad and you’ll laugh so hard that your brain will forget you’re hungry. You won’t want to put anything in your mouth when you’re too busy blowing LOLs out of it.

And for comparision, here’s a few pictures of Patti in real life with Marc Bouwer at The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection show in NYC on February 8th. Oh shit, maybe it’s Marc Bouwer’s body in that jacked up ad above. They should’ve given his ass credit.

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