Davy Jones Has Passed Away
That sound you hear is Marcia Brady's world crashing down around her, because her one true soulmate has taken the last train to Heavensville. Davy Jones (that's Davy Jones of The Monkees for those of you fetus people who didn't watch episodes of The Monkees on an analog TV while getting carpet burns from lying on the shag rug) died from a heart attack at his home in Florida this morning. Davy was only 66.
Davy Jones started his career begging for fake porridge as the Artful Dodger in a London production of Oliver! and he went on to star in the Broadway production as well. Davy did some TV shit after that, but he really started making polyester panties drop when he was cast in The Monkees in 1965. The Monkees was canceled in 1968, but it forever lives on in re-runs watched by hos like myself who thought for the longest time that The Monkees were the younger brothers of The Beatles. I ate window flies as a child, so that explains things.
Davy is survived by his wife Jessica and his 4 daughters.
If this news wasn't tragic enough, I Googled "Davy Jones" and 90% of the pictures were of that tentacle-faced douche Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. It's ALWAYS too soon for that kind of Google foolery.
Rest in peace, Davy. You are hip shimmying with the angels now.