The Unborn Baby Ewok In Snooki's Womb Is Ruining The Creative Integrity Of Her Shit Show
Enfamil immediately stopped production of their new White Russian version of their formula after who would've been their #1 customer, Snooki, denied that her midget Hulk boyfriend Jionni LaValle smushed a baby up into her. The Rapture was canceled and we were all told it was safe to go outside again, or so we thought. Page Six says that Snooki's booze sponge of a womb IS full of baby and she denied it because she was in the middle of trying to whore out the news for a dollar to the tabloids. The Rapture is back on, Enfamil can start up the conveyor belt again and we can tell the children that they're going to be the last of our kind since the world will soon end when roidy orange gremlin babies eat our entire supply of booze.
P6's source says that UsWeekly paid for the news and will put it on one of their upcoming covers as soon as they get creative approval from Lucifer since that issue will also become the new bible in Hell. Another source says that although Snooki being knocked the hell up is good news for her checking account, it's bad news for the MTV reality show she's shooting in Jersey City with JWoww (see pictures below) right now. The source put it like this:
“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out. They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. ”
The "creative direction" of any MTV show leads us all directly to the bottom of a dumpster and I don't see how that shit has to change. The only difference is that instead of giving Snooki a plastic trash can full of economy-sized booze jugs from Costco and a tanning bed, they just have to give her TWO plastic trash cans full of economy-sized booze jugs from Costco and an extra-strength tanning bed since she's boozing and tanning for two now.
News like this calls for a song from Snooki's native land! Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-we're fucked.
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Lucifer ain't gonna approve shit to P6 so they're safe for now. Something tells me this is yet another whoring stunt from this bunch! Who cares!
Just what is her claim to notoriety? She got arrested and is on this show? My Dad asked me who the hell Snooki was the other day... I had to hang up and take a moment ;)
♥---♥---♥
"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
Her brand is built on drinking, banging and partying, the public (at least not yet) doesn't want to watch a mother do that. Hope she saved some money because her Snooki "career" is likely toast.
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Sadly, the floors did not mop themselves.
If those two breed, that baby is gonna come out built like a fire hydrant.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:26pm.
What is he a fuckin midget?
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Is that a rhetorical question?
Hey, did you get tornados last night? The news was saying your region had a few bad storms. Were any by you?
of course she was pregnant, hellooooooo, if you don't know the showbiz rules by now you've learned NOTHING from MK!
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:23pm.
Allegedly, once People picks up a story, it is supposed to be FACT. I dunno. I just happened to be wasting time today instead of working, and looked at the People site and saw that the little orange pig was preggo.
She wants to be the next Kourtney Kardashian.
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/snooki_lied_she_preggers_LMEWWgqwCvDpaVh...
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
What is he a fuckin midget?
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
She's going to give birth to a leopard print meatball that sounds like Danny DeVito.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:17pm.
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:11pm.
You know you've truly made it in Hollywood when there are pregnancy rumours flying around.
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People mag is running with the story, so I think it is more than just a rumor at this point.
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So are People the credible ones then? I never know which ones are and which are not as I don't read them.
I tend to only believe pregnancy announcements/ pregnancy itself only when I actually see a big ass belly. Until then everything is a rumour to me.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
By the looks of it, those two were made for each other.
They look like the same person.
Haha MK remember being 15-16 and successfully having maneuvered into the club and sitting there nursing a "White Russian" because it was so exotic. Well, me anyway. Ooh, and "Whiskey Sour". Old people drinks.
Are you sure it isn't just a gigantic ingrown genital wart? Oh wait..no difference there...
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
oh please bitch will get her own show guido whore raisin a guidette whorina, bitching about how she cant drink
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:11pm.
You know you've truly made it in Hollywood when there are pregnancy rumours flying around.
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People mag is running with the story, so I think it is more than just a rumor at this point.
ahh yes, the "creative direction" of the show has been compromised...
translated: we won't be able to count on our #1 drunken, orange whore to guzzle booze, barf, pick fights in clubs and fuck greasy guidos for ratings any more.
tragic indeed - the world weeps.
Does she have any idea who's it is?
You know you've truly made it in Hollywood when there are pregnancy rumours flying around.
And what in God's name is she wearing?
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
She'll be just like JSimp by delivery time with her tiny self....huge! He looks like every other Shore boy. It's like an 80's time warp kinda thing.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
"the creative direction" of Jersey Shore. Now I have heard it all.
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I've paid my dues, time after time
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime
And bad mistakes, I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through
When your bf is wearing a pink shirt and more jewelry than you...in 2 years you'll be on Dr. Phil crying about how you didn't know he was gay.
Gross - he's wearing one of those stupid saints bracelets.
Where is baby daddy's neck?
Byebye Jersey Whore.
What happened to their hair ? What's with all the bloody magenta hair? You'd think they could afford better quality hair stylists/ weaves at this point but no instead they look ratty
OK people, take one an pass the rest down. Time to prepare! Suit up!
* sends armload of tinfoil hats down the Dlisted line*
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:54am.
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Morning my little doggie:)
If Snooks is wondering why those boots feel a little loose it's because her boyfriend was twirling around in front of the mirror with them last night
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:41am.
She dresses like Peg Bundy!
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I think she makes Peg looks stylish and understated.
Good morning, Whammers!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Good God. I think a 16-year-old still in high school is better equipped to raise a baby than this little attention whore.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
I just absolutely ADORE his fuschia shirt, it is so BUTCH! Like a fish wrangling gorilla meathead!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:41am.
She dresses like Peg Bundy!
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LMFAO! You owe me a new keyboard and Red Bull hurts shooting through your nose first thing in the morning!
the look on the old cops face in thumbnail 2 says it all
This is horrifying. The Jersey Devil is growing in her womb.
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*Beauty fades, but bitchiness gets better with age!* - MK
Poor child--- destined to be born with no top lip OR neck.
This shit is still on? I would have thought their demographic would have had their attention pulled elsewhere by now.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
I like Snookie. I dont know what MTV are bitching about, surely putting 8 douches in charge of an infant on the Jersey Shore is TV gold.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:42am.
They look simian.
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LOL!
Ah, don't pick on him. He is a guy doing what he does. She on the other hand..... chat away.
Her face looked better when she was heavier.
Relatively speaking, of course.
When your dude wears more accessories than you...
It's the end of the world as we know it. That kid is gonna have two heads and look like a baboon
Judging by the main pic, he has a vagina, so I doubt that got her pregnant.
She is gross. He is gross. The baby, well, you get the idea.
They look simian.
She dresses like Peg Bundy!
They can always do that Little People TLC reality show.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 11:36am.
She's in heels and she's still only an inch shorter than he is. What is he? Five feet? Tom Cruise needs to book this guy so he can stand next to him and feel tall.
He'll be co-starring alongside him in Mission Impossible 5 (or whatever number they're on).
There is something seriously wrong with the proportions of this guy's head and shoulders as opposed to the rest of him but I can't pinpoint it.
Discuss.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
GTL= Gravy, Tums and lactating.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Dude looks gay.
He and Danny Devito must see eye to eye. Damn.
Let's hope this is the beginning of the end of Jersey Shore...
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Douchechill!