Open Post: Hosted By A First Degree Hotness Murderer

February 28, 2012 / Posted by:

What in the hell kind of GD shit is Johnny Depp on, because looking like this is only okay if you’re a hungover colorblind 8-year-old circa 1977 or if you’ve passed out in the bushes after fucking a hooker and she stole all your clothes so you had to get new ones from a nearby Salvation Army bin. No grown ass man should be wearing jeans by OshKosh B’Gosh. Johnny isn’t fighting the hotness, he’s killing it not-so-softly. Johnny is starting to make Keef Richards look fap-able.

Johnny looks like he smells like what peen cheese tastes like. Somebody needs to give this bitch a donation. But there is hope. Johnny is wearing a medium blue hanky on his right side and that means he’s into everything but 69ing. I hope “everything” includes giving him a full body soapy handjob in the shower and following it up with a Palmolive facial. It cuts the grease.

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