Jessica Simpson Just Entered Her Seventh Trimester
Road work ahead, they have no idea....
So if you're thinking about getting knocked up, just put some aspirin between your legs and forget about it, because Chestica Simpson is KNOCKED UP for all of us. My eyeballs feel swole just from looking at Jessica and she still has a few more weeks to go before her body explodes. She's either going to give birth to a fully formed 18-year-old or Michelle Duggar's going to kiss her record goodbye when Jess pops out an entire kindergarten class. Not even a private school class. Jess is going to birth out an entire public school class, so they'll have to share a desk and shit.
I don't know whether to say a prayer in front of my Saint Guadalupe candle for the bra straps holding up Jessica's 400-gallon leche sacks or for her ankle bones who are probably going through some serious shit right now. I'll pray for neither and drink an entire pitcher of cherry Kool-Aid instead, because I've suddenly got a craving for some.
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So thrilled to have Chrisantemus' eyeballs here with us, proud graduates of the Chupacabra Rimes-o-rexia School of Medicine, who spent the last decade as Angelina's personal OB/GYN.
Next up, the eyeballs will be awarded the Nobel Prize in Medicine for their new, non-invasive, failsafe test of pregnancy health: have an ignorant asshole give your body a once-over, and then see what kind of santorum falls out. The greater the amount, the greater danger your baby is in!
Way to go Jess. Huge and proud! (Those shoes are painful to look at though.) I'm only 23 weeks and I already feel like a fucking cow. By the time I'm as far along as her I'll probably have my own zip code.
What is it with people being so judgmental of pregnant women? It's really distressing. Whatever happened to KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OFF MY BODY?! I remember when Michael K posted a picture of Kate Hudson sipping a glass of wine while she was pregnant and people acted like she was shooting dope or something. And it's usually people who have never had or wanted kids who are the stankest and most judgmental.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Why does she have a fashion show!? Her fashion sense sucks!
Looks uncomfortable, especially for her poon.
How is anyone shocked that Jessica ballooned during her pregnancy? She just has that body-type. She's probably healthy, but she's gonna have to breast-feed that kid until he's married in order to get any kind of decent body back. Is she having twins? I pray for her vagina that this baby is delivered through c-section.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
what is it with these rich broads walking around in stilt-shoes?
the broad is like 20 months pregnant and those shoes were never made for walking.
I don't buy any celebrity clothes, shoes, etc. Why should I make them richer?
Besides she has an ok voice - she let everyone know that she was saving her virginity for marriage, then after divorce, screwed everything that came along and then got knocked up unmarried( not that there's anything wrong with that but don't scream virginity before marriage and then do that).
She just irritates.
Awww- pregnant women get a forever pass from me as I put on 40lbs and lived on chocolate and cake throughout my pregnancy. It all comes off again. Might as well enjoy not watching calories for once.
Migraineuse is wearing, but she's right about your body becoming public property when you're up the duff, strangers grabbing your belly and commenting on your weight. It's horrible and intrusive. Don't do it kids.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Sonah, nicely put.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Tue, 02/28/2012 - 5:35pm.
unwed, pregnant and irrelevant ... how'd that work out for your sister?
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Haha, nice. But in all fairness Asslee was shotgun married. How ironic is it that both Pastors daughters are both sinners!
You couldn't even make it up...
I know what a healthy pregnancy should look like, and this is NOT it! She has put on waaaaay too much weight and that is not healthy for the baby or her. she is increasing her chances of getting gestational diabetes or, even worse, high blood pressure which can result in preeclampsia, which can be DEADLY.
Oh, and to the person who says they love her for choosing "comfortable" clothes: one look at those ridiculously high heels tells you they are neither comfortable nor safe.
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THANKYOUVERYMUCH.
It's too bad I don't have a copy of the photos taken of my mother when she was days away from giving birth to my older brother. He was a colossal 12 lbs., and she was a fucking YURT in those pictures. We could not stop laughing at shot after shot, taken by my father, because his beautiful young bride was about to bless him with the first of many children. Not because she was a big fat hippopotamus.
We laughed most of all because she was a slim, shapely, stunning woman before and after all of her pregnancies, and without pics, we'd never have believed it. The human body should never be underestimated.
Submitted by tojo on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 2:11am.
Lol-COKE.
So, Blue Ivy Carter should be, what, 10 by the time Chestica has this babeh?
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Tue, 02/28/2012 - 10:10pm.
I did not say one radical word but that focusing on the flaws in a woman's body this much, even as she's pregnant, devalues that she is bringing a baby, as in a LIFE, on to this sick, sad world. I did not type "womyn" anywhere in my post, yet I'm somehow now associated with radicals. I guess every woman who comments on body bashing is some sort of angry lesbian? And people on this site also talk about more serious things. If you don't know that, then you aren't really a Dlisted slut.
And that people get so defensive when any feminism is mentioned just shows how they have bought into the feminist backlash, despite not only the accomplishments of feminists in connection to women's rights, but also minority and gay rights.
Shit like this is what causes people like Posh or Nicole to starve during pregnancy. I'd rather see Jessica or Pink stuffing their pregnant faces that emaciated mothers in their size 4's at 8 months. Women are their own worst enemies- but of course everyone here has 'the right' to be a complete cunt but you have no right to disagree or challenge. All rights and no responsibilities, how very MTV generation.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by BLKBLUE on Tue, 02/28/2012 - 10:54pm.
Am neither a lesbian or fat. And if I were, um so what? Only skinny, pretty, straight girls should comment on this thread or something? I totally don't understand why you would include that in your argument.
And according to some women who have commented, there are women who get this big during pregnancy, and I think men have absolutely no place in criticizing a pregnant woman. I have never been pregnant, but I do have some respect for people who go through it. What else is amazing is that some of the harshest people on this site have admitted to eating disorders themselves. Just passing the hate along, I suppose.
Lindsey's got a double chin and Jessica dosen't...
How does that work?
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...the end
Jessica is really serving some Sally Struthers here...
FOREVER I will love Jessica Simpson for this. I will love that she got as big as she needed to get to have a healthy pregnancy and didn't try to stay thin just for the sake of her public career. I will love that she wore crazy ass shit that looks comfortable, regardless of what fools may say about her. I will love that she strutted her gigantic pregnant self around in public and did not hide away at home, or pretend to have the baby at some other time just so people wouldn't see her at her hugest. I LOVE THIS WOMAN for doing this.
She looks exactly like I looked at 8 months (well, different hair and face, of course!), and I never had a speck of diabetes or high blood pressure or any other health problem whatsoever. Screw all you imbeciles who dare to cast criticism her way for this. Jessica Simpson is a brave and sensible creature and I will buy her damn tacky clothes and shoes and bags and shit and LOVE HER FOREVER.
Spaz, Jennifer Hudson has become so fucking ANNOYING. First of all, her head is too big for her body now. Not because she is too skinny, but she has a big head, so she needs a bigger body!
And she won't shut the fuck up about her weight loss. Those commercials make me pissed off. She just bugs me now.
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I've paid my dues, time after time
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime
And bad mistakes, I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through
Yes PSL and really she was a little chunky even before she was pregnant...NOT FAT though!
Chicken Waffle Pops! *eyerolls*
http://www.foodista.com/blog/2012/02/28/crunchy-chicken-stuffed-waffle-p...
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:06am.
Mani, of course she is. Then she gets paid millions of dollars by Weight Watchers to sing her stupid songs after she gets personal trainers to whip her into shape too.
She will always struggle with her weight. always.
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I had to scroll back on this to see if you were talking about Chestica. Because seriously, I think Jennifer Hudson is gonna gain it all back, too.
Mooooooooo
Mani, of course she is. Then she gets paid millions of dollars by Weight Watchers to sing her stupid songs after she gets personal trainers to whip her into shape too.
She will always struggle with her weight. always.
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I've paid my dues, time after time
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime
And bad mistakes, I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through
She admits herself that she eats like crap.
"I had a buttered Pop Tart this morning. I'm eating a lot of stuff that I ate in my childhood. Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese, Pop Tarts, Cap'n Crunch. Everything's filled with sugar."
http://www.foodista.com/blog/2012/01/22/jessica-simpson-is-not-worried-a...
I think I see the babies head!
That outfit is hideous from top to bottom (extra hate for the shoes) and needs to be burned.
Having never been prego, I'm not going to judge on anything else but I will say she looks damned uncomfortable. For her sake, hopefully she pops soon.
This pic would've been way cooler if she were standing in front of those "WIDE LOAD" signs. You know, for the lols...not seriously hating on preggo women, or anything.
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
Fucking moron...she needs to be walking laps in a heated pool somewhere or whatever pregnant chicks do for exercise
I'm gay therefore don't know much about pregnant women, :)
but I thought pregnant women aren't supposed to wear heels that high?
She is dumber than dirt for wearing those shoes. What a moron. And she looks like she is headed right for diabetes with that weight gain.
Ugh, I know she is bigger than most pregnant women I've seen but this is just another excuse to bash her about her weight. It's really very boring. So what, she gains weight (I don't mean when she's pregnant). Who gives a fuck. I doubt that if someone like, say, Jennifer Garner gained weight (outside of pregnancy) she would be regularly made fun of for it.
I'm all for snark and yes, it's a blog but I'm over the weight bullshit w/ this one. There are other people who are worthy of our derision for very valid reasons, lol. And there are other things about JS that deserve our attention, like her hideous wardrobe choices.
Definitely needs to lose the heels. Not what pregnant women wear or should wear.
Sonah. You sound like your fat and possibly lesbian. Yes she is pregnant, but you really think it's healthy to be THAT in her 7th month. Would still take her over her anorexic idiot sister. Also this site makes fun of mens' bodies all the time. John Travolta, Aaron Carter etc. So try to lighten up.
Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 02/28/2012 - 5:34pm.
Wonder if she still wants to be pregnant got the rest of her life? Dumb Republican.
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Take your stupidity somewhere else. Havent we suffered enough!
I'm curious if it's twins. She is pretty big. I know atleast two people who gained 60 to 70 pounds with just one baby . Not everyone gains the standard 25 to 40lbs. And I agree.. why are people ragging on this girl for gaining weight during pregnancy. She's hacked on when she's not pregnant and NOW that she is eating for two , she's still being picked on.
Get a fuckin' grip. Not everyone fakes their pregnancies for the sake of saving their body.
I just think she's crazy for wearing those heels!Your balance is waaaay off at this stage of the game.
She's been preggo forever ! Beyonce announced her pregnancy and shot hers out 10 seconds later.
I guess it's safe to say , Jessica's REALLy pregnant .. no surrogate to be had.
I've never been pregnant but I know a whoooole lotta people who have....like maybe 30, and out of all those people there is only one who I can remember being as big as this....
And someone said this ho isn't due till April 1st?! She's gonna look like a stretched out pair of spandex pants when this is all said and through...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
I was a fatass during pregnancy too. Fast food and soda galore. Aside from my son having the energy of 30 kids on mountain dew, everything has turned out fine.
AND when the hell is Jennifer Garner and Hilary Duff gonna pop as well? I wonder if there will be a celebrity baby bombardment all in the span of 24-48 hours of one another.
I consider myself a feminist, but jeez. A. this is a gossip site B. she looks pretty bad here, as if she's been scarfing down hot fudge sundaes and honey baked hams. No-one is saying she should look like a twig, but this is a little much. There is a happy medium C. there's the orange mumu and the hideous shoes to contend with.
But no-one is allowed to comment b/c that makes us "womyn" haters. Or something.
Wow, what a stretched-out mess she's turned herself into.
Oh but with those shoes you look sexy. pfft. Jessica isn't due till the 2nd week of April. This is what happens when a mother eats high sodium, fat ass, fast food, ...selfish!
is she having triplets?????????
Her future looks like Jennifer Coolidge.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
I didn't gain much weight at all during my pregnancy and always carried high. My baby didn't drop because he was two weeks early. I'm really glad though, because I heard that's when your back aches like hell.
I never wore heels like that. In fact, I can't even wear heels that high now!
While it' fine to gain weight whilst pregnant, Jessica has become Type-2 diabetes obese.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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jessica is most definitely pregnant...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I just want to see her outdo her airhead sister in the Abominable Baby Name Department.
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."