Yeah, Megan Fox Was A Real Fug Face In High School

February 24, 2012 / Posted by:

Just like Charlize Theron and Christina Hendricks before her, prolific philosopher and fully functional mannequin Megan Fox claims that she was never labeled as “pretty” in high school and was a total loner. This would make sense to me if Megan also told us that she was home schooled and her only classmate was the most beautiful earth angel in the world Shauna Sand.

As you can see from Megan’s high school picture above, she was a real ugly stick victim and any one of us would’ve called her Megan Dog as she went to eat her mayonnaise sandwich in the bathroom. Here’s what Megan told Miami Magazine (via UsWeekly) about her unpretty days in high school:

I was never the pretty girl,” the actress tells the March issue of MIAMI Magazine. Describing her teenage self as “abrasive” and “obnoxious,” Fox, 25, says she felt like a “loner” growing up.

This ho right here needed to walk three steps in my British Knights to know what it really feels like to be voted Most Likely To Get A Job As Dr. Frankenstein’s Doorman by your entire class. I can’t feel a sowwy for Megan when in junior high school I had a pube bush on my head, dumbo ass ears and some jacked up teeth. I might have told this story before (since I have the memory of a dead fish and always repeat stories), but my history teacher once told the class that she was the ugliest girl in school. She said that she had a curly afro, glasses, dumbo ears and braces. Scan to me sitting in the middle of the classroom with a curly afro, glasses, dumbo ears and braces. That bitch. When the kids weren’t calling me Michael Gay, they were calling me elephag. So I just can’t with Megan.

I’m looking at Megan’s yearbook picture and I see nothing unpretty about it. Megan’s lip gloss is popping me in the eyes and those brows could easily win valedictorian of eyebrow situations. I don’t know how Megan said that with a straight face. Oh wait, I know the answer to that. Megan said it with a straight face, because she can’t move her face anymore.

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