From Becks’ Balls To Eva’s Balls

February 24, 2012 / Posted by:

Posh Beckham is the sleepiest zombie in the graveyard, but she still had enough energy to pull herself out of her crypt to party with Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale at a Vanity Fair party in L.A. last night. Last week Posh was grabbing Becks’ balls through the power of the optical illusion, this week she’s grabbing on Eva’s titty balls and let’s hope that next week she’s grabbing on a pair of meat balls from Ikea. That sinister “nibbling on the fat-free parts of your soul” smirk is scaring/scarring me! Posh looks like Mr. Burns dragging it up in disguise as a Pan Am flight attendant so that he can join the zombie mile high club by eating brains in the lavatory.

You know how at the end of the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland you face a mirror that shows ghosts and ghouls sitting on your head and shit? That’s what this looks like. Although, Eva Longoria is too busy flirting with the camera to know that she’s wearing a cold zombie hand bra.

That said, I’d rather see Posh’s zombie hands over Eva’s chesticles than the shit she’s wearing. That dress is a world of NO on Eva. If my free clinic therapist held up one of these pictures of Eva and asked me what I see in her titty area, I’d say I see two side shadowy profiles of the triangle bird from Angry Birds and a whole lot of desperation. Eva just doesn’t have the demure grace of Courtney Stodden and Anne V to pull off a dress of elegance like this.

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