Too Easy: Khloe & Lamar Break A Sex Swing
On last night's Khloe & Lamar, Khloe Kong tried to spice up their sex life (aka spice up her boring shit show) by turning her brother's old room into a Sasquatch mating cave complete with a sex swing hanging over the bed. Khloe lured her husband Lamar Odom onto the swing by secreting musky aphrodisiacal fumes (smells like boiled boar meat, tears from a human man, cow piss and wet tree bark) from her gulch. Anybody who has ever seen a Yeti and a Wookie bump fuck parts on a hammock knows what happened next. The chains broke, the ceiling caved in and the sheer force created a suction tunnel that pulled down pieces of the sky. There's a hole in heaven now, because Khloe & Lamar tried to hump on a swing!
Khloe learned the hard way that the next time she wants to screw Lamar in a swing, she should hire those people who pulled that injured elephant onto a truck. Also, there's some motorboating action between Khloe & Lamar at the end of this mess, so you might want to hold onto your eyeballs so they don't heave right out of their sockets.
via Buzzfeed
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Yeah - just like those "Real Housewives" ... nothing real about those assholes either ! Betw the plastic surgeries, wardrobes, vacations... this is NOT how you represent REAL housewives.
Show should be called" Pretentious Unimportant Hags of _____"
REALITY TV SUCKS BALLS
This should be called Contrived TV - ain't got nothing real about it! :P
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"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
This is completely infuckinappropriate for TV! A new low for the Trash-dashians.
I thought it was bad enough when they thought it fun to televise Kris' incontinence problem and she was doing a kegal on the gyno's finger !(as he told her she really needed to work on those kegals ...so she must be as loose as a goose).
Do we really need to see this shit? I fuckin' HATE what our society has become. There's nothing they wont do for a high rating and millions. Integrity, class, values, morals ... all thrown out the window for fame. DISGUSTING!!! (*steps down off soap box)
maybe if you stopped talking in that fucking baby voice !
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
A colleague I met 4 years ago just happened to work for a very well known tv production company.
Over the years, he's always given me bits of gossip.
The one he drilled into my brain was how set up the Kardashian show was. He said reality shows USED to have mostly real dramas (The Osbournes) with a bit of scripting put in but he told me the Kardashian show was COMPLETELY scripted. He said everything in their lives is done for the cameras.
FIONA SHREK !!
How sweet. Shrek and Fiona...
I am just not clear on why people would want to see her and her sex swing. Ewwww....
Not cool. DO NOT want to see this. I am not even sure I would want to see a really good-looking couple doing this. Well, depends on the couple, but still...
what trips me out is this family considers the shit they do "work" and they get paid for it. I work 60 hours a week and none if it involves shopping of having black has been rappers piss on me.
this whole family is just trash and pathetic. What they won't do in front of a camera.....
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What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye, old you, when love is true
She's not embarrassed that she's putting this ridiculously staged shit on TV but she is embarrassed that Lamar 'turned her down.'
Wasn't there a blind item recently about someone from a reality family that hadn't really consummated their marriage?
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
I would watch their show if they got into an Iron Maiden together.
That's like watching a cow have sex with a giraffe
why the fuck is this part of a tv show, and why the fuck are there tons of people watching it? these bitches are beyond disgusting, and plenty of people keep feeding into it, making them even more rich. just stop people. just. fucking. STOP
I just had the nerve to turn watch this clip - the evil in that mess is palpable - and it's hilarious that Lamar's so unenthusiastic and is "a little beat."
I think the Kuntrashian schtick is getting old even for him.
And P.S. Khloe - being sexual doesn't come from a sex swing or masks, you stupid cunt.
I think this is the famewhore version of turning a relative's old bedroom into a sewing room.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
gee, I wonder why Lamar turned you down...
"Put a needle in my hand, I'm a regular Victor Van Gogh"
Dinosaur Bob
I'm sure Lamar will get lots of respect from his teammates after this!
This is the most I've seen of their show and wow. I am STUNNED anyone with a brain would watch this. Talk about nothing going on at home.
Why is his damn mouth so crooked ? Did he have a stroke ??
Haha girl you wrong
Haha girl you wrong
Now why would he stay with a white woman if he ain't getting no light skinned babies?
This is the vocal problem:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2073800/Vocal-fry-The-new-craze-...
I have a 21 year old sister-in-law to be who talks like this. I think there's a whole generation coming up this way because my teenaged daughter tells me the girls at school talk this way. Fuck our lives.
"Do you like the room? Like, get excited." If I was a man, her shrill, whiny voice would totally kill any erection I had. Could she sound any less sexy or enthusiastic? Faker than a $3 bill, can't watch this shit.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:16pm.
She should have installed a catapult.
Lmao!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
GoodLordAMercySweetMotherOfGod
This is just foul.
If allowed Lamar would say Rob is more sturdy.
This is Wild Kingdom shit.
They would be better off with something industrial like a crane for their mating times. I feel sorry for Houston if they have hear their roars and screeches all night.
Feh, amateurs. You can't just lag it into the ceiling. You go up into attic and screw some heavy 12x2s across the ceiling joists then through-bolt and eye hook. I do shibari suspension all the time and never had a problem.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 5:03pm.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 5:00pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:43pm.
I actually like Khloe.... :P
*installs reinforced steel beams in ceiling of jacko's BOO-DWAR*
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I think you have mentioned before that you are into chubby chix, yes?
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NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I just don't discriminate. I like the petites... but have ridden my share of mopeds :P
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Awwww, I heart u jack. Jack serves all the ladeez!
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 5:00pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:43pm.
I actually like Khloe.... :P
*installs reinforced steel beams in ceiling of jacko's BOO-DWAR*
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I think you have mentioned before that you are into chubby chix, yes?
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NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I just don't discriminate. I like the petites... but have ridden my share of mopeds :P
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 3:43pm.
I actually like Khloe.... :P
*installs reinforced steel beams in ceiling of jacko's BOO-DWAR*
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I think you have mentioned before that you are into chubby chix, yes?
The sad sad sad thing is that some people are titillated by this crap. All the supposedly naughty stuff on tv is SO boring because they can't really show anything so they are reduced to making creepy jokes and showing some absolute cunt's sex swing. These people have milked whatever it is that makes people watch them for an incrdible stretch. For having absolutely zero personality and being famous for being related to a man that defended OJ, and being related to a huge whore, they get to turn it into several dozen hours of prime time a week? They're geniuses at that, but still meant more for people that read x17online. There is a definite plan to put that K name out there as much as possible and I am really considering hypnosis to see if I can perma-ignore it.
What Khloe said near the end, that they "don't have to be sexual" combined with his refusal of sex leads me to believe there's trouble in paradise.
I mean if neither of them can summon up the energy to even kinda-sorta fake it (with pressure from Pimp Mama Kris) then how long will it be before the separation announcement?
When the Sasquatch take over, don't say I didn't warn y'all.
*puts on tinfoil hat and puts up electric fence*
I don't care. I enjoy khloe, she doesn't let her mother run her life and I think she does well away from her family. It's almost like she not only has a different father but it's like she was raised by a different family entirely.
Submitted by Poopele on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:39pm.
They should call this show "The Aristocrats".
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Oddly enough, I agree. The irony and reality - they're like the Windsors but more exposed in their ickiness. The Queen/PMK is holding all the strings and manipulates away and the masses eat it up.
Khloe is as in on it as everyone else. She makes money, and that's all that matters to them.
i can't hate. i like this girl. she's been dealt a tough hand, and in public, and she's played it as straight as anyone could, i think. *shrug*
...
but, then again, what do i know?
*follows coca to grave*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
They should call this show "The Aristocrats".
Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/20/2012 - 4:20pm.
A trebuchet is FRENCH, ergo it sounds better.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Just no. Khloe may be the lesser of the evils, but this shit is as fake as Kim's face. Fuck that. And I hope she and Lamar leave Dallas asap, because yoid think we done got ourselves a queen the way they kiss up to her Sasquatch ass. All she does is talk shit!
Ugh, fucking humanity and their fandom of this shitty, asinine superficial family.
What a lousy and contrived couple.
Is Lamar so shitty at basketball that he needs this BS???? I'm still bored with them, swing and all.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
I will go to my grave without seeing one episode of this idiotic family.
Spoiler Alert: Khloe & Lamar Break A Sex Swing is just a lame reworking of the feeding scene in "Jurassic Park."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvuzslDnMvY
I hate to admit it but I really like these two together. They seem genuine and genuinely in love. I remember one episode where Khloe said "I don't even care if we have a perfume, I just don't want to fight with my husband over it." She really puts her husband before everything else. When he got sent to Dallas, she said "let's go!" and they found a home in Dallas. Unlike Kim who is so self-absorbed she couldn't even imagine living in Minnesota for Kris, who was willing to give up his dream house just for her cunty ass.
they showed this on tv? WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN
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