BREAKING: Chris Brown Tweets RiRi On Her Birfday

February 20, 2012 / Posted by:

Yes, that pun was intended. 24 years ago today, the secret child of The Brain traveled in a pod from her home planet to earth where Barbadians found her on their shores and raised her as their own. Most of celebrate this special day by not giving a fuck, but Chris Brown celebrated it by Twatting a barfday message to RiRi, which she re-Tweeted to all of her followers. What does it all mean?????

Does it mean that RiRi really is sitting on Chris Brown’s No. 2 pencil dick again and wants all of us to know it?

Does it mean that RiRi is friends with Chris Brown even though he’s still a spoiled piece of beaver shit that not even a maggot would eat?

Does it mean that RiRi is conceited as all hell, because Chris Brown was really giving a birthday greeting to Nippy’s former partner in pussy Robyn Crawford and she thinks she’s the only Robyn on earth?

Does it mean that RiRi and Chris Brown are shameless spotlight fuckers and are simply promoting the stupid song they supposedly did together?

If it’s the first one, I just have to say: Whatever, RiRi. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. But then again, my heart wants me to sit on a Grey Goose bottle before doing a handstand until vodka seeps out of the pores on my head, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it. Again.

Here’s the Terrible Twat of Tappahannock looking like a brain dead, mouth-breathing Tyrannodouchebag Rex in Miami over the weekend. The hos on the beach probably weren’t sure if the rank stench was coming from his open mouth or his hanging out ass. I will never forgive those seagulls for not shitting on his beaver teeth while they had the chance.

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