Bitch, You Ain’t Evita!

Here’s Latina legend in her own ass, JLo, having a “Don’t cry for me Rio de Janeiro” moment with her imaginary subjects at the Carnival parade in Brazil last night. If the camera pulled back, you’d see thousands of people RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES from that balcony, because they know that nothing is strong enough to hold up JLo’s 6,000 ton ego. That balcony is now going down in history as a man made wonder, because it actually didn’t collapse from the weight of JLo’s love for JLo. It’s a good thing that didn’t happen, because that would’ve ruined Casper’s first Carnival and JLo wouldn’t have any good pictures to put in his baby book.

You know, I don’t know what this says about me (don’t answer that), but every time I see a new picture of Casper, I notice a new gift from his sugar mamita. I see that fancy gold watch, Casper. Casper is seriously collecting a toy chest full of treasures that he’ll eventually have to pawn off when JLo dumps him for a younger baby in the sea. In the meantime, #getmoneybaby