Puts A New Meaning To "Rolling In The Deep" (UPDATE)
So this is the real reason why Adele had that throat surgery. Adele was moaning and throating in the deeeeeep. France's well-respected and highly esteemed literary journal of le truth, Public Magazine, published an EXLUSIF! story about a tape featuring two hundred-time Grammy winner Adele setting fire to her loins on the peen of an ex-boyfriend. 411mania says that the ex-boyfriend (maybe the one who looks Jesse Camp trying to reinvent himself as a Jimi Hendrix impersonator) wants to fuck with Adele for some reason and so he's doing so by releasing a video of him fucking on her. The scorned ex sold the tape to a French paparazzo type named Jean Claude Elfassi who will release the tape any day now. I'll be really disappointed if Jean Claude doesn't use one of these as the title for this shit:
Rolling On The Peen
Cooter Has It
Set Fire To The Taint
Hometown Whory
Someone Like You Needs To Get On This Poon
Take It All
I know, none of those worthy enough for an Adele fuck tape and I'm sure your ass can do better.
Anyway, America's own well-respected and highly esteemed internet journal of truth, Media Takeout, has a couple of stills of Adele allegedly getting adicked in front of a video camera and those tragic sperm fish eyebrows tell me that it's not her. Not only that, but would Adele really let a trick film her getting down in the backseat of a car? I know Adele is a refined lady, but I don't think she's that much of a refined lady. But if this is her, then I'm sure that around this time next year, we'll watch as she accepts five hundred more Grammys for Best Fuck Moan and Best Coochie Queef in a sex tape.
UPDATE: Thanks to Amanda for directing my eyes to a beyond NSFW (and the link will take you to pop-up city so beware) old porn where Public Magazine obviously got their stills from. The chick in the tape is American and when she moans, it doesn't sound like a mezzo soprano songbird humming into a rainbow. It's not Adele.
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Errrrrrrr...ScarJo, what happened to the tight, toned bod you showed off as the Black Widow? Damn. I think my 55 year old mother has less cellulite.
Its "froat" not "throat"
"Shalikla!"
Is she in the back seat of a car in those MTO stills? Can't wait for her next song, "You're Dead, Mothafucka."
Adele has that very special dimple on her chin, and the woman in the photos doesn't have it. I don't think it's Adele.
Whoa! ScarJo needs to call her insurance agent about that hail damage.
JC, No thanks! Not everyone needs a sex tape story! True or not, this does NOTHING for her, ugh!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin
Someone like Babe the Pig
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Not Adele.. move on.
Set Fire To My Brain, and burn away the image of Adele's sessy times. Jeebus. And it's not her.
adele and sex tape do not belong in the same sentence, unless its the adele that was all photoshopped to hell and back on the cosmo cover!
Chasing Peenmants
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
LMAO @ "the censor marks are to block stuff on her face" on MediaTakeout photos! What stuff? Jizz?
Rolling On The Peen
Cooter Has It
Set Fire To The Taint
Hometown Whory
Someone Like You Needs To Get On This Poon
Take It All
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...bahahahaha...thanks MK I needed this completely unexpected laff this morning...
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
From the stills it looks like she's in the back seat of a car. KLASSY!
Where is sinjin?
HEY! Where did you come up with your name? Because there is a character on Victorious with that name.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 12:00pm.
Oinking in the Mud
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Ohhhhh fank ewe fuh spoo-gin on me face...
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Oinking in the Mud
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Adele's bank account is not even bothered. End of.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
JFC, so now not only does everyone video their sex, they even let it happen when the douche won't spring for a fucking motel room? As if a "curvy" chick really wants to do it in a fucking squishy car? That's not an "O" face, that's a "I think my back is fucked up for life now, fanks, asshole" face.
Got dayum! He looks like he stole Edward Scissorhand's do!
If it is or isn't her, I'm sure the tape is more interesting than Crooked Dick and Lard Ass.
It's not her. As some of you mentioned already, you can tell by her chin.
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"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 11:51am.
Smother her face with a pillow?
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dingdingding
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Not her. Check out the chin.
What do you do Jacko? Smother her face with a pillow? Close your eyes tightly? Only go in from behind?
Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 11:49am.
THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Happy Friday! BITCHES BE CRAZY!!
Just added Sonne to the list!
This is so awesome! You guys are stepping it up and showing yourselves to be the awesomest sluts around!! The donor list for the 2012 Big Gay prom is ever-growing!
http://www.firstgiving.com/GayAlliance/big-gay-prom-2012
THANK YOU to:
Machael Hardy
Wanda Martinez
MK Fan
Beakers Bitch
Carrie Vernon
Gem
Little Rascal
Phoebe Tahiti
Sonne
You, too, can help make this year’s Big Gay Prom even gayer!!
http://www.firstgiving.com/GayAlliance/big-gay-prom-2012
Thank you for donating!!
Love,
Mabel
xoxo!
LOL at the stills from Media Takeout... I can't stand people's "O" face....
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Her ex is such a skeeve...
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...the end
First off, that doesn't even look remotely like her. And B) he needs to STFU and go away. He's just livid because she didn't want to take his crap anymore then hit the stratosphere.
Newsflash to Dude du Desperate: She's just not that into you!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I don't think she's had the chin cleft installed since then, so I'm saying a big fat NOT her.
Moo Cow Makes a Calf
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Oh. a hump session filmed *gasp* WTFE. I love her music and knowing she has sex is not going to change that....heck, it might make me adore her more. Fuck the jealous ex.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
I thought she was "talented" and "above" all that silly stunt shit.
Plus, I thought she's too busy being morose to have sex.
Love Adele and her pretty face BUT I don't think I want to see her pimply ass getting plugged....ok what the hell I'll give it a look who am I kidding.
Edit..
A pants up look that is!
That looks nothing like her.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
That is one porn tape that I won't be watching. I like my porn stars to be super hot.
And ScarJo sure has a lumpy ass.
dude, really? :-P