Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

February 17, 2012 / Posted by:

What reality judge on a very hit show was so hammered when she came to a taping of her show that there was literal panic about whether or not they could sober her up enough to participate in the taping or going to have her be “sick.” (CDAN)

If this blind item was a drink, it would be a cocktail glass with only a single ice cube and a tiny bit of vomit in it and its rim would be permanently stained with oil-based red paint, so that means it’s Drunktina! Xtina better hold on to her job on The Voice the same way she holds onto her glass of vodka whenever the bar back comes around collecting glasses. How many jobs can you show up to when you’re all kinds of tanked? Oh, what am I saying? Your ass probably showed up to work this morning drunk to the fuck times ten.

Maybe orgy is the wrong word to describe what happened on the making of this movie, but there was certainly lots of rampant sex going on. It all started with an A list movie actress at the time who was starring in a franchise and wanted to keep her glory. She hated doing this movie, but she was committed so decided to make the best of it. For her, this meant having as much sex and doing as many drugs as possible while making the movie. Every co-star was fair game and when one actor thought he was the one she found special, he would be replaced and a new one brought in. She was the goddess of the movie and acted like it. She was a way larger star than any other actor on the film, primarily because she was charging so much to be in it that there was no budget for anyone else.

Besides having sex with the actors on the set, she also brought in an old co-star who was still hanging on to his A list acting fame at the time. An Academy Award winner he dropped by the set and the next thing you know, the pair were in his hotel room and not her trailer. He was with his now wife at the time, but he had wanted the goddess when they had last made a movie together and she had turned him down. This time he was having her, marriage be damned.

Oh, there was the B list movie actress with the alliteration for a name who stopped by one day and they reunited after a few years apart. This actress has played in some very steamy roles of her own.

There was one actor, now a B- list who claimed he had never had sex with a woman before. Men yes, but not women so our goddess had to have him. She did. Now he is married to a B list actress. (CDAN)

I’ve read this blind item at least 30 times and I’ve furiously scribbled my thoughts about this on a white wall in my bedroom in between taking hits from a meth pipe, and I still don’t know. This shit is hard and it should be the final question on the SATs. It could be Angie Jolie, Halle Berry, Reese Witherspoon (yeah right, not that paper bowl of unflavored oatmeal), but I’m going to go with this:

Goddess slut: Sharon Stone?
Movie that she made while fucking her way through half of the cast: Basic Instinct 2?
A-list Oscar winner: Michael Douglas?
B-list actress: Sally Struthers (I WISH!)?
B-list gay dude: Hugh Dancy?
B-list actress he’s married to now: Claire Danes?

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