The Photoshop Awards: Kate Upton On Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition
Hours before Sports Illustrated was supposed to show off the cover of their annual For Horny Teen Boys Who Don't Have Private Internet Access issue on The Late Show last night, a gas station in Michigan leaked it after the magazine arrived early. A GAS STATION IN MICHIGAN! Sports Illustrated should've moved the unveiling to that gas station in Michigan, because that would've been a more fitting place to bring out this 80s cartoon mess of a cover. Kate Upton is only 19-years-old and I'm sure she's perfect in real life, but they sort of fucked her up. I'm sure before the cover shoot, the conversation between the editors went something like this:
"We need to shoot her from below so that her tits looks like two Junior Mints melting over the side of a picnic table. Then catch a pirate hamster, rip off his eye patch and throw it on Kate's crotch. Don't worry if it makes her crotch look like two jelly snakes fighting under a Spandex blanket. We're going to Photoshop her down low bits until she's got Barbie crotch. Oh, and don't bring our high-powered fan. We don't need it. We're going to give Kate a sideways Flock of Seagulls 'do with four cans of hairspray and a tease brush."
A MESS!
But like I said above, it's still an important day for horny teens whose parents won't let them be alone with the computer. It's kind of like the equivalent of what the JCPenney catalog meant to me as a young ho. Whenever that shit was dropped off at our porch (it didn't fit in the mail box, wink wink), I'd grab it, tear out the "underwear for men" section and basically stitch the pages to the back side of my chonies.
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Homecoming Queen, do you believe unbelievable in a good way or bad? i don;t think Irina whatserface is pretty either. It seems to be all about the body these days, with some exceptions, of course.
I remember Elle, Christy, Stephanie, Linda, Naomi, Christie Brinkley,Paulina Porizkova, etc having it ALL. Beautiful faces AND incredible bodies.
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Get down on it, come on and, get down on it - if you really want it
Get down on it - you gotta feel it
Get down on it
-Kool & The Gang
Parissucksliterally-
That Russian chick from last year was unbelievable.
I don't know, this girl looks like all the AOPi's I went to college with (except they were flabbier).
Way to fug up a stunning girl--this is possibly the most un-sexy SI cover ever.
*rolls eyes at all the dirty OLD men in thread*
I'm not impressed by her. She looks like she could be the triplet to those skanky Playboy twins.
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Douchechill!
who is this? (too lazy to look her up)
"Shalikla!"
I would plop my big ol' pot roast head on her body, if it were possible to do a body transplant. I would also take the lack of any body hair that she appears to have as well. Yippee, no more shaving!!
guest - That was funny showing her on the Today show couch with the Duggars. They just kept that vacant wide eyed stare at the camera and you could tell Kate thought it was amusing.
Thats full on CGI not just photoshop.
That pic is several bowls full of wrong. And why are her boobs squashed?
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Ok who is this bimbette and what has she been in that I should care.
WTF! Why is there more fabric on top than on bottom? you know, if I didn't love peen so much, I'd easily switch teams, but still, that bikini bottom is just.... NO. Like Cher once said.... 'two strings and a cork'!
And, it's hella-photoshopped.
ew look at her shitty face (don't!)
hmm I didn't do that catalog shit, I would use my imagination and stimulate my penis with the shower head, those were the days, hands free everyday all the time, it made me feel so much guilt though, and I would not masturbate on Sundays because I knew God and his son Jesus Christ were watching me. Heavenly Father forgive me for my transgressions and associating with homosexuals and the gluttonous
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
DAAAAAAAAYUM!! HOT. The bikini is too small, but with a bod like that, who cares?
And I LOVE her dress and shoes (that color!!) in the thumbs. My only criticism is her earrings, I don't think they're complimentary to the rest and she should have gone with a pop of color to play up the shoes.
Thank you Homecoming Queen. I don't see it either.
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Get down on it, come on and, get down on it - if you really want it
Get down on it - you gotta feel it
Get down on it
-Kool & The Gang
I actually don't think she's pretty.
Really.
WHOOOOOOA MOMMA!!! who is this goddess of temptation?? Those are some of the nicest boobs I've ever seen...
*pops blood pressure meds*
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
yeah, she is not ugly.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
She's amazing looking but this pic is a photoshop whackjob! Bikini bottom about to fall off girl! To delight of many, I'm sure! ;)
And what is she in even? She's like Justin Beaver, from one day to the other, she's everywhere! I keep seeing this chick all over!
LMAO at the pirate hamster eye patch MK! hhahahahah
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin
When your tits look like muffin tops and we can pretty much see your chocha, I say just go nude and call it a day.
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 12:40pm.
that's the tiniest bikini bottom I've ever seen.
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I know, it's super hot. I want to pull it off with my teeth.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Her hair color looks better on the si cover.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
HOT.
*worries about Jack's blood pressure" ;)
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
That blowing a kiss pose needs to be stopped.
that's the tiniest bikini bottom I've ever seen.
I think half her vulva is exposed.
"But like I said above, it's still an important day for Jacko"
she's hot but she's so young I find it a little dirty, they always show her boobs bouncing on tmz tv, LOL
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
a size too small.
favorite moment on the today show...this chick sitting on the same set as the duggars. lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I do not think this girl is pretty. Body is damn hot, but her face is not pretty to me at all. (I am NOT calling her UGLY)
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And you know just what I need, it took some time for me to see
That you give good love to me, Baby
So good, take this of heart mine into your hands
You give good love to me