Open Post: Hosted By Jean Claude Van Damme
The only way to follow up a post about Billy Bob Thornton looking like this is with a post about Jean Claude Van Damme looking like this. Jean Claude didn't do himself up like this on his own. JC is shooting Welcome to the Jungle in Puerto Rico and I'm guessing he's playing a basement-dwelling mama's boy who has always dreamed of enlisting in the army, but hasn't gotten around to it since sniffing dirty panties he buys off of eBay and trying to unlock all the nameplates in Halo: Reach takes up all of his time. That's the kind of douche who always has dried cum stains on the bottom of his t-shirt, because he's too lazy to take it off during fap times.
Maybe it's because I'm more dizzy in the brains than usual since the only thing I've put in my stomach today has been 3 Truvia packets, 10 cups of coffee, a banana and Raisinettes (aka The "I Hate What I've Become" Diet), but does Jean Claude look a little Brad Pittesque in the eyes to you? Bitch has that vacant stoned "Shiny! Shiny! I see shiny!" look in his eyes.
And because you're wondering, I'd still hit it. I mean, wouldn't you sit on his face just so you don't have to look at his Fu Manstache anymore? Feeling that stache with your fuck part is probably a lot more pleasant than feeling it with your eyes.
He looks like he ready to walk the stroll down Castro Street.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I'd close my eyes and hate myself after but yes, I think I would! Those handlebars might even come in handy, could tickle though, Argh! Haha
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"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin
People should learn a lesson. No slinking off to the bathtub to drown for JCVD. You get up, and you drink some more!
I'd hit it. In the junkyard. Right after he gets out of prison.
She is a gorgeous homosexual - has she had 'work done'? She looks different.
And if she is "51" then we must be "31" !
he's really more of a jean-claude von darn these days, isn't he?
...
but, then again, what do i know?
I can totally see him thinking "Jean-Claude Van DAMN, I'm fine!!".
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 5:31pm.
Submitted by NDNchief on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 5:23pm.
I think your odds are high. All of my single friends are going to the bar tonight so I have a feeling there will be a lot of that. Not that you are around to hear this....
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I tried to slut it out. I can't, I need mental stimulation. That takes time. But you're right tho. I had my pick of desperation.
Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 11:47pm.
hahaha omg i just noticed that last thumbnail, that is hilarious!
anywho, that is a nice bod, if only most men look liked at the age of 51yo, let alone half that age. ive seen beer gut, no muscles, FOPA guys who are 22/23yo and its NASTY! so i would take JCVD anyday over those guys.
Well, slap a trucker hat on him and call him Skeeter.
Fun times await on V Day for dudes on craigslist....
http://www.happyplace.com/14063/woman-on-craigslist-seeks-wimpy-loser-he...
Yeah, the bod looks damn good for his age. For any age, really. His self-referential movie "JCVD" was pretty decent.
But. THE LAST THUMBNAIL. Poor lady.
great biceps, id do him just for old times sake, take a ride down memory lane and more.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Vodka costs less
Than dinner for two
So Jean Claude is starring in the Danny Bonnaduce Story?
Happy VD, Everyone!
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 6:36pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 6:34pm.
HA HA I HAVE SEEN THEM!! JEALOUS WHORES! (the bewbs)
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SO. PISSED.
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^^^THIS!!
New bewbz are awesome, ba-buttons has been on the maiden voyage of a couple of pairs
Happy V-Day Rigazzi!! ba-buttons' crazy Russian stripper playmate is treating him to a sleazy night at the strip joint!!!
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
I was literally just watching some movie with him in it, he was fighting a sumo wrestler and I couldn't turn away, he was bad ass. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I know he is just getting older but if you told me had aids or cancer I'd believe you.
My concern is I'm getting a ripple effect from JC's face. It's that, or that beer I had for lunch was a lot stronger than I thought, or 'Man! Have I gone light-weight'. (Yeah. I'd still hit it too.)
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.
Forgetting about the ridiculous facial hair, bitch looks great for 51. You have to admit.
His new movie should be called "Welcome to the West Village"!! Scary pics.
Holy Jeebus! He looks like my UPS man, and NOT in a good way.
oh shit ;/ thank god this look is only for a movie.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
lollol beakers, I have to wait till I get home to watch but love the title!!
ftr, so I don't sound like a complete whiner, I love love, just not Valentine's Day lol. THA PRESSHAH! SDR you doll, I got handmade cards too and chocolate from my kids (6 and 8yo). Best. gift. ever!! :)
Congrats on the twins, Uvy! I'll wait til they heal before I honk them.
Shit, I gotta wait 10 months for that TV!!!
Mr. Spot drew me a card for today. It's much better than a purchased one IMO. ♥ to Sweetas
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 7:10pm.
YAY!!!!!!!!!! Congrats (is that what you say?) haha. Glad to hear you are feeling okay. <3
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Sweetasssss, I don't know if you saw it yet, I put this in the Kath is a lezbo post and I've pretty much posted it all over today, lol.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJTfNIPGhlQ
Hoff- Thanks, doll. The Valium Vicodin cocktail is making it tolerable. Not to mention they are already kinda looking awesome. ;)
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Fanks, agirl!
Uvy got boobies?
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Aw SDR, how can I hate on a new flat screen?? That is awesome!
It's probably just because of my own taste in men, which is traditionally horrific, but I know I'm not the only one who thinks VD stands for Very Disappointed. Or worse lol.
Uvy, so happy for you! feel better and enjoy them real soon.xoxoxoxo
agirl, I know, I just got here.
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I have never loved life so much.
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 6:59pm.
www.loves.com
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Sweetas - If it makes you feel better, Mr. Spot & I are giving minimal gifts to each other this year & will buy a big TV as a joint present at the end of the year. Yeah, we're classy like thay! Lol
We still rock the big box TV's at Casa de Spotty.
Claude looks like something you'd see in a parade in SF.
@Dog - I am happy to hear the good news re: the job
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 6:49pm.
Uvy got new booby????
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I was thinking the same thing! I musta missed the press conference.
Hoff- yep, just yesterday. Tried to rediscover come glory in the old girls.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 5:56pm.
momus!!!!! The reverand LOOOOOVE... the LOVE doctor!! I LOVE IT! And when I first started reading "we got married at Love's..." I thought you were gonna say Love's Travel Plaza! LOL, not sure if they have them everywhere but they're all over the damn south.
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Hmmm, what kind of services do they offer at this Love's Travel Plaza? pics pls
*pulls chair up close to 'puter and waits*
OMG BEAKERS!!! AHAHAHAHA!! I hate VDay too. I mean, if you're single it's the NYEAH NYEAH look what my love got for me, how thoughtful, oh you are all alone, loser? And if you're with someone it's always either a huge fight, or he forgets, or he brings you some stupid pine tree car air freshener kind of thing he picked up while he was buying beer on the way home. *jaded*
Uvy oh no, that's right!! Hahaha I don't blame you for wanting out of that bitch but you have to get put back together first.
aigirl - there are always exceptions, please don't be irrational. :P
Ok, I'm out, hookers.... have a good evening.
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Sweetas- they strapped me down because I tried to get up before he close me up.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
If you already have the date, but can't find a gift....
http://www.happyplace.com/14173/bizarre-valentines-day-ad-for-funeral-ar...
Uvy got new booby????
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I have never loved life so much.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 5:07pm.
*high fives Momus and anno*
jacko doesn't celebrate Vday either... the new gf is like WHAAAAA?
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Jack, I was gonna give you a Valentine's Day beej, but if you don't celebrate... I mean, I wouldn't want to offend you.
They are SPECTACULAR. *high fives snowy and Uvy*
Uvy lol there's no telling what you said or did coming out from under anesthesia...
Submitted by BitchyD on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 4:59pm.
He looks like a leather daddy on summer vacation in PTown. By nightfall, he'll be in a harness and chaps ordering a Bud in The Vault.
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Tell me more, please.
Momus - no clue where that is... it's been YEARS since I've been back. Most of my family that's still there live in Greenville and Jackson.
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 6:31pm.
Momus - more north central... It is where MS State University is... my parents moved from one college town to another when I was young... after Starkville we moved to Tuscaloosa...
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The farthest north I've ever been in Mississippi is Leake County.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 6:34pm.
HA HA I HAVE SEEN THEM!! JEALOUS WHORES! (the bewbs)
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SO. PISSED.
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
HA HA I HAVE SEEN THEM!! JEALOUS WHORES! (the bewbs)
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky