Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 13, 2012 / Posted by:

The Rent-A-Pope who escorted the poster child for “You Tried, Bitch” to the Grammys last night.

In her attempt to go Full CaCa last night, Little Red Riding Ho picked up a Pope from the Vatican’s central casting office and hired him to partake in her doark-sided fuckery parade down the red carpet. This level 1 STUNT QUEEN move had about as much flavor as the first communion wafer I spit into my hand at Sunday mass. While my abuelita was wondering why the Pope took a slightly mentally challenged black altar boy in a monk hood to the Grammys, I was wondering what was going through the head of the hired pepaw in Pope drag. Dude is probably thinking to himself that this gig is even more stupid than the time a group of Third Rock from the Sun fans hired him as a John Lithgow impersonator (this Pope does look a little Lithgowy) to referee their cosplay orgy. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do to keep the Werther’s Originals on the table.

I’m all for Nicki Minaj molesting the image of the Catholic Church for the sake of her (f)art (because nobody’s EVER done that before), but could this bitch at least do her research first? The Pope would never be seen in public in a pair of Rockport boots from DSW. Any ho who dares put anything but Prada on the Pope’s feet will find their soles rotting in Crocs in the 9th circle of HELL! Not decorating the Pope’s hooves in red Prada loafers is the ultimate act of unholiness.

And this post would be incomplete without the fucked up The Exorcist Las Vegas stage show that Nick’s brain barfed up on the Grammy stage last night. I can’t believe I subjected my eyeballs to the whole thing last night and it’s times like this that I wish the Catholic Church offered spa services, because I’m going to need a priest to rid my brain of this embarrassing mess with a holy water facial. The only thing missing was Nicki humping a crucifix before spewing pea soup all over the place. Although, the gross quota was filled up by that crunchy mess of a wig on Nicki’s head. It looked like spaghetti art. The rosary-clutching, try hard mess is below and you should be warned that it’s NSFCA (Not Safe For Catholic Abuelitas):

That shit really made me miss Enigma.

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