Cover your genitals with an industrial-strength chastity belt before you click on the thumbnail of the adonis who has been dubbed the “most beautiful man ever seen” by human eyes, because if you don’t your fuck parts will try to wrap themselves around your monitor and you’ll have to cancel all your plans for the rest of the day.
Meteorologists reported that the weather in Hawaii this weekend would be dark, cloudy, rainy and that the sky would be covered with a thick layer of depressed sadness (no, they didn’t, I’m lying), but as soon as our modern day David, Nate Naylor, showed up, everything changed. The sun came out to touch his beauty with its rays, the buds bloomed in record time like they were on speed and the hummingbirds exploded into sprays of nectar. Nate has that effect on nature. So all you hos in Hawaii can thank Nate for the sunshine this weekend. Oh, and ScarJo is also there, but who cares about her Sean Penn-licking ass.
And on a serious note, do you think Nate Naylor’s parents are a little disappointed that he grew up to be an ad executive type who is motorboating a movie star? I mean, they named him Nate Naylor, which means they had high hopes of him becoming a porn star or a superhero’s sidekick.