Recalculating… Recalculating…

I interrupt our regularly scheduled celebrity fuckery to bring you this video of a girl giving you directions to her house in just 23,678 simple steps. This girl must be related to my cousins in some way, because this is exactly how they give me directions to the nearest Kmart. “Go that way down the street, make a right at the Taco Bell, go down, make a left at the second Starbucks, go up, go up, go up, make a left at the Michelle’s Donuts that used to be a Winchell’s Donuts, go down, keep going, keep going, keep going, then make a u-turn between the closed down Shakey’s and the Del Taco, and turn right into Albertson’s parking lot. Kmart’s on your left. There.”

They tell it with their arms too, like this girl. This is why GPS systems will never be relevant.

I just wish that this girl also told us where all the bars, Chinese massage parlors and churches are along the way, because I’m going to need a DRANK, a foot rub and a pep talk from God to get me through that journey.

via Arbroath