I can fault Lindsay Lohan for going out in public looking like a deep fried tonsil stone dragged through a wig cemetery, but I cannot fault this bitch’s hustlin’ game. If there’s one thing Blohan’s good at, besides reminding all of us what Meryl Streep looked like at the end of Death Becomes Her, it’s trying to get shit for free. At the amfAR Gala in NYC on Wednesday night, LiLo, seen above after getting a whiff of her career’s remains, slid next to a Canadian millionaire and used her cokey charm to try to get him to buy her a piece of joorees. Who needs shame and dignity when you’ve got a bag of 8-balls you bought after pawning a diamond watch some Canadian millionaire bought you at charity auction?
One of Page Six’s sources claims that at the amfAR event, LiLo told everyone that she was there because she’s playing Elizabeth Taylor in that Lifetime movie and the charity was close to La Liz’s heart. But LiLo was really there to grift a bitch. The source says that right before the charity auction started, LiLo tried to sweeten up a Canadian financier type. Then when bidding started, LiLo’s assistant came over and told the millionaire that LiLo wanted him to buy her a Hublot diamond watch. When LiLo’s assistant says “Hublot,” a Canadian millionaire says “No, YuBlo me.” The millionaire laughed at LiLo’s assistant and the watch sent to somebody else.
As expected, LiLo’s rep says none of this happened.
Don’t you sometimes wish that delusion powered your brain the same way it powers LiLo’s? In LiLo’s head, she’s a gorgeous charming movie star who has such a charitable heart that she will accept an expensive gift from a Canadian millionaire. It’s his pleasure to do so and the happiness he will feel from seeing his gift wrapped around her delicate wrist is priceless. That’s what LiLo sees. But everybody else sees a sad crack ho begging for a cigarette outside of a White Castle at 6 in the morning. I know, I think I brought us all down with that Norma Desmond-ish image. But we should all be so lucky as to not give a fuck the same way LiLo doesn’t give a fuck.