Tweeted Like A True Stunt Queen-In-Training
As a pimp, mother and professor of fame whoring 101, Pimp Mama Kris never felt as proud as when one of her youngest, Kylie Jenner, Tweeted this picture of Khloe Kardashian's massive Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade head floating next to the dude who some tabloids say could be her biological father.
That Michael McDonald meets Tummi Bear motherfucker is Alex Rodan and he's been Kris Jenner's hairstylist for over 30 years. That explains why he has that "I've seen the crown of Lucifer" look in his eye. Some think that one night many years ago, Alex rose on his haunches, mounted Pimp Mama Kris and howled into the night sky as they made Khloe. They've all denied it. But that didn't stop Kylie Jenner from pulling a stunt for show. Kylie Tweeted this weird-looking picture from a Kardashian family photo shoot today and then she quickly said she it was a joke.
Alex does have the same Berenstain Bears look that Khloe has, but if he was her real father the Kuntrashians wouldn't announce it in a stupid Tweet. They'd announce it in a 20-page spread for All Bear Magazine, a 4-hour E! paternity test event sponsored by Alpo and an interview with People Pets.
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 8:20am.
I'm getting a gay Donald Sutherland look in the eyes.
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I LMAO when I read your comment and went back to the picture--what a brilliant and fucking hilarious observation!!
Even if Chewbacca Sr. is ghey, it's still very possible very he gave it the 'old college try' with that slore Kris Jenner (like Robin Williams' character in The Birdcage) and fathered Chewbacca Jr.
That said, I agree that Chewbie Jr. must have known the truf for some time now (maybe even since before her adoptive father passed away) and she's just playing her part of the oblivious bastard child until the E! special airs.
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Happy Holidays to you too, Khloe! And may you and your family GTFA for 2012!!
Hmm...they do have a resemblance.
On another note: Poor Kylie! She's ugly as fuck and her sister is so beautiful. Must be hard.
Oh who am I kidding! I think it's HILARIOUS that she is so ugly!
·´¯°·•·´¯°·
http://bitsofwonderful.tumblr.com
Really? Who gives a shit about these worthless wastes of flesh?
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
har dee har har
Khloe looks pretty in this pic, no?
If this rumor is true, then these curvy figures are all thanks to Pimp Mama Kris, so I'm sure she'll be demanding a bigger paycheck. She herself is a curvy woman, but they always atritube their curves to their Armenian side. Not to say that Armenian women aren't fabulous, but this rumor removes Khloe from the gene pool. Yet, she's got the same curves as Kim and Kourtney do.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
I'm getting a gay Donald Sutherland look in the eyes.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by Saix on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 7:20am.
Oh, come on, everyone knows a gay man's sperm can't fertilize a straight woman's ovum!
Of course I jest. But you just KNOW there is a Yahoo! Answers question like that out there somewhere. If only I wasn't too lazy to search for it ...
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Devil's advocate.
@ Mabel Hodges
Oh, please! Seriously, you guys?!
Obviously this man is gay, and apparantly a very good family friend and the whole "who is Khloe's father" thing is a joke to them. Trust. The joke is on us. Duh! They are playing around, you guys.
She looks good here.
Love, Mabel
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IF he is gay:
I don't think his sexuality is solid proof he ain't at least someone's daddy.
I'm gay, but have had sex with women. One of which was actually a very close friend of mine. So really, if he and Kris got it going on, I doubt vag vs peen was an issue for him if you're comfortable around the person you're nailing.
Submitted by fuckingclassy on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 7:50pm.
On a serious note, y'all, I wonder how all the hate for Kuntrashians has really made them feel as human beings. They created the monster themselves so they're to blame HOWEVER being ridiculed on daily basis has got to be a major blow to anyone;s self esteem. It's not just blogs who rip on them, it's celebrities (like um, the real ones) and politicians, and anyone and their mother. Yet, they keep going with the train wreck. Psychologically, I would not be able to take it. The fact that they still pimp out the show, clothing line, stores, etc. and refuse to stop really puzzles me.
*** what goes down, must come up ***
I get you classy, really I do. I know I couldn't live through the scrutiny--but the Kardashians have proven time and time again that they are not human. They're fembots, completely devoid of human emotion.
And what goes down, will like stay down due to gravity. However what goes up most likely come down due to the same law.
I'm not snarking on you, I promise. I've always just waited for them to short out any minute. But you're right, the very slightest bit of shit that they get would've had be ramming my finger down my throat multiple times on a daily basis. I do respect your compassion though.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
I hate this family so much. And I hate the continuing coverage of their nothingness.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 6:30pm.What my mom told us, and I tell my daughters is: "That's your sister. She's your best friend and your closest ally in this world. You be kind and stick up for each other. Always."
Preach, Hekki, preach. I've never been so glad to be the daughter and nieces of 'nobodies' in the world. They've taught me wonderful things and from the sounds of it, you're passing it along to your Hekkilings. Congrats.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Kylie is the psycho-looking Valerie Bertinelli right? She is the "Khloe" of the two younger Jenner hookers.
Gawd I hate this family. It will be satisfying when PMK and Kim are exposed for the fake whores they really are when her divorce proceedings unfold.
I will say this about the Kardashians, at least there's been far less Wonky Hilton to gag on.
Damn Kyle Richards for looking so much like Wonky in a wig.
Umm. Yuck!
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I have never loved life so much.
TMZ, National Enquirer or Star needs to get their hands on something else each of these creatures has used and perform a little CSI test that will determine if all three have the same genetic makeup. Pretty easy stuff and shocking no one's done it yet.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
I agree with Scott in NYC that she is cute (in spite of a large head). On the other hand, MK's post is maximum funny and I have always hated the Berenstein Bears.
Khloe probably doesn't care since this is a fucking amazing picture of her.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Adolf Hipster on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 5:53pm.
She's got something now that Kim and Kourtney never will: a father that she can see anytime she wants.
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I didn't even think of that. Khloe may not have the looks, but she's no doubt the lucky one. Which makes Kylie the unfortunate one, I felt sorry for her until she pulled this cunty shit on Khloe.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
pfffft that photo was only tweeted because Khloe looks almost female. Can certainly see where she got that boof head and hulking frame.
oh fuck Kylie Jenner. The girl is as fug as Khloe.
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It's a Miracle, a true blue spectacle, a miracle come true.
We're together baby, I was goin' crazy till the miracle came through
-Barry Manilow
ahahah I love the Berenstain Bears reference.
Her father is OJ IMHO. Same facial features. Same shameless immorality.
Oh, please! Seriously, you guys?!
Obviously this man is gay, and apparantly a very good family friend and the whole "who is Khloe's father" thing is a joke to them. Trust. The joke is on us. Duh! They are playing around, you guys.
She looks good here.
Love, Mabel
Submitted by ishouldbedoings... on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 8:29pm.
I'm much more interested in what racy things Betty was up to in the '50s!
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http://worldofwonder.net/2011/01/26/Betty_White_nude_/
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by dementa on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 8:11pm.
This is a (still) trailer to that very episode. We are fools, because we are showing that there is already interest in 'the Very Special Kardashians episode where Khloe "finds out"'.
The fact that we are debating this means we're interested. Some people will watch the episode just for confirmation or, indeed, disappointment when they're left with a non-answer.
BE WARNED! IT WILL BE A LAME LET DOWN, just like the parental DNA test which confirmed that KhloÉ's MOTHER was her MOTHER, or that rubber-face Kim doesn't have implants because Kris Humphries has already stated that she uses external padding.
We're all tools. And yes, I'm a tool too because I'm writing this.
PS Ha ha, there's a great side advert as I type this on Betty White's book 'If You Ask Me'. Betty White will live longer than Kim's next marriage or PMK before she goes for her next plastic surgery!
Now that I think about it, I'm done with the Kardashians. I'm much more interested in what racy things Betty was up to in the '50s!
So I guess Pimp Momma Kris went into a rage, because that tweet threatens the Very Special Kardashians episode where Khloe "finds out" that she's the product of seedy adulterous fucking.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
When someone is raised to be a privileged, pretentious twit, that person becomes deluded into believing that criticism is simply petty jealousy and ignores it unless responding would garner more publicity.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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On a serious note, y'all, I wonder how all the hate for Kuntrashians has really made them feel as human beings. They created the monster themselves so they're to blame HOWEVER being ridiculed on daily basis has got to be a major blow to anyone;s self esteem. It's not just blogs who rip on them, it's celebrities (like um, the real ones) and politicians, and anyone and their mother. Yet, they keep going with the train wreck. Psychologically, I would not be able to take it. The fact that they still pimp out the show, clothing line, stores, etc. and refuse to stop really puzzles me.
*** what goes down, must come up ***
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 7:30pm.
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 6:43pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake: I have gas.
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I have phlem.
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LOL!
I was phlemish last week.
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I have the blahs. dlisted helps.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Poor joke really, too easily believed. Or is PuppetMaster PMK really behind it? She's testing the waters to see if:
a) the public generally thinks it's a joke, in which case she'll do nothing, or
b) it seems to be taken seriously. If so, within 24 hours there will be a MAJOR retraction, blamed on a 'joke' by a 'minor' who in no way could have acted responsibly or should be taken seriously by proper adults.
You damn well know KhloÉ is in on this, as is probably that increasingly rubber-faced monster Kim, and they've all got two or three phones each monitoring tweets and Google traffic as I type this. Mr Hairdresser, of course, is now a laughingstock with no appreciable personal gain.
Is this a first? Can they abandon more 'fans' by making a mockery of paternity issues, which other people might hold dear to their hearts?
Jesus, sleep with a Kardashian and karma comes back at you up to 30 years later. JUST DON'T DO IT in the first place!
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 6:43pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake: I have gas.
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I have phlem.
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LOL!
I was phlemish last week.
I'm waiting for Doctor Drew (Pimpsky) to tell how devastating this is for Khloe ... and Kris ... and Kim ... and Kourtney ... and anyone else whose celebritiness will garner him some attention.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Khloe is the only Kardashian worth paying attention to and I couldn't care less who her real father is. She's funny, real and cute. Yes, I said 'cute.' The other pieces of worthless shit could disappear for all I car. Including former man, Bruce Jenner.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
If it's a joke than my hopes of her being OJ's is still alive. Cuz that means that there is murderer DNA in her and there may be an eventual Kartrashian massacre on the rest of them by Khloe.
aye
Submitted by Hekki : What my mom told us, and I tell my daughters is: "That's your sister. She's your best friend and your closest ally in this world. You be kind and stick up for each other. Always. "
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I've raised my sister ever since she was 12 years old after our mom died. I've had people tell me that not a lot of people would take that on, and I'm always surprised by that. What kind of fucked up family wouldn't raise their own? Does not compute. I cannot imagine life without her. My mom had mean girl tendencies with me, and I expected to have my sister with me by her teens anyway.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/08/2012 - 6:30pm
My grandmother does that with my brother and mother and me. It's one of the main reasons we don't like her and kinda avoid her most of the time.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
She does look like him. It is believable.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake: I have gas.
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I have phlem.
I don't see the resemblence myself but whatever. Her family is still annoying.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
LoreH Poor Cloe,
Poor Kloe,
No amount of money and fame can take away the fact that she looks like Sasquatch. Im thinking all the hate she has built up and releases through her sarcasm is a shield to hide her sadness. Poor Poor Thing.
Hi Cloe!
I actually think this tweet was really funny!
And I also think that this hairdresser dude is the Dad, the Beast looks just like him.
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Dark-sided!
I agree Hekki. As teens I considered my middle sister a total moron and disco skeev BUT if anyone would have messed with her I would have gone apeshit on their ass!
Even though the picture is probably a Photoshop mash-up, it is obvious that he is her bio father.
What a hideous back-stabbing bunch of cunts PMK has raised! And I do blame PMK.
My mother has four sisters and they were in constant competition and my grandmother encouraged it. She would pick one daughter to be the villain for a while and would get the others to gang up on her. She'd talk shit about them to each other and encourage alliances and break them up. It was really evil, Mean Girl shit. Really twisted. I see that PMK operates on the same level.
What my mom told us, and I tell my daughters is: "That's your sister. She's your best friend and your closest ally in this world. You be kind and stick up for each other. Always. "
If one of my daughters did something like this, I'd go apeshit.
I still think the father of the she beast is OJ.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.