Panty Creamers Of The Day: The VD Cast On Entertainment Weekly

February 8, 2012 / Posted by:

I don’t watch Vampire Diaries, because there’s only so many vampire shows I need in my life and True Blood automatically wins out since it has a whole lot of ASkars nalgas, Joe Man Jello nipples and tang from Lafayette in it. But what I do need more in my life is almost naked pieces on the cover of magazines and Entertainment Weekly gave me that this week with an issue completely devoted to a shirtless Paul Wesley, a shirtless Ian Somerhalder….and that girl in the middle.

You can almost fap to the sexual tension on this cover. Just look at that Paul Wesley, staring deep into Ian Somerhalder’s adam’s apple like he wants to suck the core out of it. I see how Paul’s hand has temporarily made a stop on Nina Dobrev’s stomach before eventually making its way to Somerhalderville. I see how Ian is touching Nina’s face only so his elbow can hover near Paul’s fingers and feel the heat. (Yes, I write a lot of low-grade soft core in my spare time.) Nina needs to quietly slip out, tip toe to the kitchen and make us all popcorn so we can lounge on the bench in front of the bed and enjoy the show.

ONTD user enael read everybody’s minds and really made this cover (and fuck parts) pucker into tomorrow:

Now this shit is officially gold certified fap-worthy. I’d print it out, frame it with the gayed up True Blood Rolling Stone cover and hang both of them in front of my toilet, but fapping while making a caca is even too gross for me.

The rest of the pictures in EW are kind of hilarious. That Paul dude is Zoolandering for his life and most of these look like publicity stills a Straight Guys for Gay Eyes porn.

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